and upon realizing
the lateness of the night i have a false sense of energy as i think of how the
time changed and it would normally be 11:58 right now. and upon realizing
this lateness and energy i realized upon my reflection a reflection of words
that urged to be written here. so here i am and what i write now will be
just a bunch of goop because its so late. at this time my mind functions
wildly. i do my best writing here, or worst for some people. i create
wonderful songs. i can lie in bed at night waiting to fall asleep and have
a complete song in my head that i made up just then and not remember a damn bit
of it in the morning. i have wonderful dreams that would make great
stories. but i cant remember the majority of them when i awake.
lately i have been having dreams over and over of past relationships.
etching themselves out in my mind. refer to march’s poetry collection.
and as i exit out of yet another relationship my mind ponders its fate. i
can not speak of this new old relationship right yet. i will in due time.
so dont ask me about it. if i care about you, you already know. but
i care about others who dont know because theres more to the story than whats
been known. i dont know where the end will be. its so late and i’m
typing things i dnot want to say. i’m mispelling words i kjnow how to
spell and its so late i dont care to correct them. in fact i just took my
glasses off and now i cant even red the words i am typing on the screen. i
dont even know why i leave my monitor on. i worded outside today. i
fixed my lawnmorwer up. put oil in it, sharpened the blades. and cut
my grass. afterwards, i grilled myself a nice juicy steak on my grill.
i cooked soeme corn, yellow and white. and some mushrooms and garlic.
when i was young me and my dad would always work outside on the weekends and
grandma would alwaays have lunch waiting for us at lunch time. we’d go eat
and go back out to work. i want a girl who would takea care of me like
that. my grandma died when i was in early high school i thik. i don
tknow the year. i didnt go see her, i didn’t want to see her sick. i
regret that so much. i still have cookies she made for me. no one
makes them like she did. and bananna pudding. i like banna pudding.
i can barely see red lines as i type bannana so i know i’m spelling it woring.
i dont care. these are mini observations my friend pretzelboy said to me
recently. my room is it by my monitor and my mixer and my stereo. i
have a new song i wrote. well part of a new song. actually i have 2
new songs. one on guitar, on e on the computer. they arent finished of
course. i dont remember the last time i finished something. even my
web pages isnt finished. the files link dont work. theres hardly any
pictures in the picture link. i dont have good pictures. i havent
finished my con report from last year. if your smart you can figure out
how to access all the pictures that i havent linked to yet. good luck.
i want to write a story but i dont know what to write so i write here. why
are there so many red lines?? i refuse to use my glasseses. its
late. pathetic. last weekend i, it felt good outside. i
thought of walking down to my nearby pond with my dogs. then i thought how
rare it is for me to want to do anything outside. so rare, i wanted to
come back inside and mention it on my web page that i was going to be outside.
but i didn’t. i went in and played a game. i want a bike. so i
can reie it to the pond. i want to sleep. its late now. its so
loud in here. the tmbg concert was very awesome. its late and i’m
going ot bed now. i’ll read what i wrote in the morning if i remember and
see how bad i mispelled all of htis. thanks for reading. hope i
enlightened you a bit