Sunday, November 24, 2002

a day in the life
of a single guy.  i went shopping last night.  for myself.  and
as i walked around the mall, i realized again what pointless of a situation it
is to circle the mall.  over and over.  i went into the store i was
needing to go to, made my purchase.  i had a box of 4 rolls of film.
you can buy 2 more rolls for only a dollar if you get this box.   sure
why not.  the power of marketing, i said to the guy.  and as i exited
i got caught up in the flow of traffic which meant that i was to walk on the
bottom floor all around the mall, then go up to the second floor and circle that
one too.  onlooker as i passed by stores, odd make shift shops in the
middle while i sang the song I’m a girl watcher to myself.  i browsed the
arcade, and relaxed for a while watching and listening to a few guys compete at
DDR, and I knew the words to all the songs, since I have the 5th mix on CD.
Someone brought foot stools, or maybe the arcade provided them.  but there
was a small crowd at the ddr machine, lots of teenagers sitting around on the
floor and the stools.  reminded me of an anime con.  of course, there was the
obligatory goth couple.  who sat between two other machines near me.
after a few songs, i left, and browsed for some food.  decided on chik fil
a and had a seat.  i watched the people in the food court eating their
foods, talking to their friends, browsing through what they bought.  then i
noticed him.  he was sitting alone.  far away from me.  older,
maybe 28-30.  and he seemed to look at the passing ladies like i did.
come on, a single guy like myself has to amuse himself somehow.  and i
realized that i wasn’t the only pathetic guy in the mall, all alone, sitting
here hoping to get a glimpse of a cute girl.  but i felt like he was
watching me too.  like i was his competition. or maybe like he didn’t want
anyone else to notice he was alone and looking.  anyway, i continued to eat
my food, nodding at people walking by.  twiddling my thumbs and otherwise
wasting time.  and i looked up to notice the guy was now no longer alone.
apparently a friend had joined him.  they were talking and looking and
laughing and all.  ok, so i was wrong.  i was the only pathetic guy in
the mall.  and i looked up later once more and i saw a guy walking across
all the tables by himself, but jabbing away on a cell phone.  and i noticed
from the corner of my eye, a lady walking from the other side in the same
direction as the guy walking alone jabbing on her cell phone.  i was waiting for the
two to meet and sit down to a table.  however, each sat down at different
tables.  each continuing to talk. and i never noticed the guy get up for
any food or anything.  and i wondered if maybe he was really like me, here
all alone, with no one to talk to, but too embarrassed to admit it, so he’s
acting like he’s talking to someone on his phone when in reality it’s only the
operator.  and the lady, i had lost sight of her.  but she was korean,
i’m thinking.  light skinned asian.  a very attractive lady.  i
lost track of her.  i continued my food and when all the table around me
were empty, i decided it was time to go too.  so i got up, threw my trash
away, and greeted the lady at the cookie counter.  i’d like 2 cookies.
buy one more and get one free, she said.  sure why not.  the power
of marketing i said to the lady.  and still confused, i had to ask how many
cookies that would be total.  she said four, and i told her my choices.
chocolate chip and macadamia nut.  i gathered my cookies, and walked back
to the chick fil a to get a refill.  and as i walked by, i noticed the
pretty asian lady before was sitting with an even prettier asian lady.  i
couldn’t help but to stare.  i went to the store, and waited for my refill.
and looked and there was the prettier lady who must of gotten up right after i
walked by, she was waiting for something too.  and i couldn’t help but to
wonder what would have happened if she got up just as i was coming by and we
bumped into each other.  she got what she needed, never looked my way and
left.  i got what i needed, shrugged my shoulders in a sense of normalcy
and left too.  and as i exited the door, i noticed out of the corner of my
eye a lady behind me.  i passed the first door before seeing her, so on
the second door, i paused as i held it open for her.  i looked back and the
same obligatory goth chick was walking towards me.  i held the door, and
she looked at me and said in the sweetest voice thank you.  i nodded my
head smiled and continued on.  in my car, i situated my cookies to eat on
the drive home.  i looked at the movie listing i had printed out to bring
with me to see if a movie i wanted to see was playing soon.  it wasn’t.
an hour and half would be the next showing of something im interested in.
so i cruised on home.  i came home to my loving fat ass cat.  who
greeted me at the door with a meow, purr and a rub against the legs.  he’s
sleeping on the chair behind me right now.

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