just answer the phone

welcome to hp automated tech support
please state your product name or model number
me – what the fuck? oh hell (laughs) dammit i just want to talk to someone
sorry, i did not understand that request
please say your request again
me – still laughing
blah blah blah (me not paying attention)
me – uhhh
it’s important we recieve the correct responses to direct you to the best available person
please state is this for a home office or business
me – uhh
it’s important we recieve the correct responses to direct you to the best available person
hold on i’m connecting you now
beep beep beep hold dial tone wait
hold music
hold music stops. hears clicks
(in forieng accent) – thank you for calling hp total care my name is john can i get your blah blah blah (me not paying attention from laughing at this guys accent)
uhh yea i need a recovery cd for a pavilion
ok can i get your blah blah blah (still laughing)
ummm yea my model number is p8562a
ok can i get your telephone number
sure 123-123-1234
wait please(hold)
thanks for being on hold sir
can i get your model number please
sure it’s a 522n
and the serial number?
sure xxxxxxxxxx
that was xxxxyxxxxx
no, it’s xxxxxxxxx
you mean xxxxyxxyxx?
no it’s xxxxxxxxx
can you please spell out your first name?
phil
and your last name?
hart
have you called into hp with this phone number before?
(scrolls down the list of about 20 phone numbers we use for hp)
well yes, i have but i’m not sure if i’ve called this department
do you have a case number?
no, i do not
i have a customer number
a customer number?
yes
can you give that to me please?
sure its xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
i do not see that number
ok sir now how can i help you? what is the problem?
i’d just want to get recovery cd’s
you’d like recovery cd’s?
yes
i do not see that telephone number in our system
ok i’ll just create a new record for you then
can you please spell your last name?
and your address
sure it’s xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
are you calling from nord carooleeena?
yes
ok hold on please (hold)
just give me a moment, ok? (hold)
thanks for beinging on hold sir
ok that part is 23.46
Ok do you have any express shipping?
umm
do you have like next day or 2 day shipping?
uhhh
or do you just have standard shipping?
sir, standard shipping is 1 to 2 days
oh ok then thats fine
ok just give me a few minutes to process this order
waits
thanks for being on hold sir
yes
it will just be a moment sir
hold again
thanks for your patience
some lady picks up this is the floor supervisor
blah blah blah (non understandable accent)verify blah blah blah address please
ok sir and its in henderson nord carooleeena
please write order number xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ok sir and its going to be (blah blah)
ok sure
(blah blah blah)
ok uhhh can you give me the total price?
ok just one minute
ok the total price is 23.46
ok thank you
thank you
bye

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