Redemption vs. Hope

So, I just got done watching Shawshank Redemption for the first time.  Recieved it for Christmas from Aunt and Uncle.  Great story, made me think, and here I am thinking so much I want to write about it.  It’s late and I’m just going to ramble so enjoy.

I feel institutionalized (wow i spelled that right the first time typing it??) myself.  The characters in the movie grasp with very long term prison sentences.  One guy had 50 years.  He was paroled, let out, and no where to go.  State gave him some grocery job, put him up in a halfway house.  But, being in jail for 50 years, he had nothing in the real world.  His life, though now free, was more difficult for him than in jail.  Didn’t know how to act, what to do, where to go.  (no i’m not going to spoil the movie for you)  The ‘rehabilitation’ of jail did nothing to prepare the inmates for the outside world beyond their walls.  And thats where I am. Out here in the real world, looking but no where to go.  When there’s a glimpse of hope, it disappears, time and time again.  Enough to make you give up.  Stop searching.  It’s a waste of time.  With every attempt there’s a ‘nice try’ at the end.  Cupcakes waiting and all.  But then, right back out there, trying to see what’s next.  I’m not in jail, never have been.  Well, I felt like it a few times.  I’m already out in the real world.  And I still don’t know where to go.  Which is worse?

The thoughts of the movie are too great for me to attempt to translate into this little feeling I’m trying to analogize it into.  Or my writing skills have failed me, or it’s just late, or maybe there really is no connection.  Sorry to disappoint.  I just can’t seem to get a good kicker line, the ending feeling I so love to give.  I could ramble all night I’m sure.  It’s only about 1 am.  Actually I’m already yawning.  Good night.

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