Category: General

if i traveled back in time and made an oil painting of a dinosaur, think he’d get mad?

why don’t latino’s speak latin?

spoken very fast, in obvious foreign accent, sounds asian
yes my name is afwifowaifja239ga and i am doing a survey for network information weekly
ok
i need to verify some info fwfwojwf
ok
do you still do hardware
do you still do software
do yowwj still …
(he kept talking faster and faster to the point i couldnt even understand him. i just kept saying yes, thats correct, etc..)

this goes for like 5 minutes question after question yes after yes. finally at the end he says
thanks for your time. you have been very nice and kind and you have a beautiful voice
i said yes, bye

ok go to tools and look for email accounts or accounts
ok i went to tools but there’s no accounts
ok did you click on tools?
yes
ok, try closing out of it and go back in
ok do i do that by going to start
no, you can close by going to file and exit
ok i went to file but there’s no exit
ok, how about click the x in the top right
oh ok, yea
i clicked on tools but it dont have accounts
what do you have?
it just says forward
no, thats not the right tools. close out of your message and go back to your inbox
how do i close?
click on the top right x
ok
now click on tools and find accounts
ok, but it’s still no accounts there.
ok what do you have?
just forward
ok just close all this and we’ll use webmail
do i click on tools or that little box?
ok tools
not the box?
right
oh well let me click on tools then
yea you do that

oh i give up
yea i give up i was going to write ths entire conversation but its way tooo much
oh my god
ok i told her we needed to hang up and try it again and she said hang up what?
hang up the phone
hang who up?
hang me up
ok
wait wait wait dont hang up yet.
ok
when we hang up then you tell it to connect
ok so i tell this yes to connect then we hang up?
no, we hang up first then you tell it to connect
ok do this now
yes
(click)
10 seconds later phone rings i just know its her
hello how can i help you?
yes
yes?
oh, who is this
it’s me again
oh, did you dial the service?
what do you mean?
did you tell it to connect?
i’m not sure
ok
did you want to just bring the computer in?
yes maybe i should just do that. i’ll get my husband to help unhook it
ok, that would be better
ok, talk to you later
ok bye bye

3 minutes later
hello?
yes, i tried to unplug it but couldnt
mmm ok
ok we’ll send someone out there

a dream : some friends and I were walking down the street in our small hometown. Some guy comes up and asks my friend if he likes porn. and we all say yea sure and this guy hands my friend a card and walks away. We take a look at the card and it says something to the effect to meet at this secret location for a party.
So, when the night comes, me and friends jump into a car, and drive out into the middle of no where. it’s the back country, through some overgrown field in the middle of the woods, we were afraid the car would get stuck on weeds. eventually the field ended in a pond, and according to the directions we were to continue to drive onto the pond. after much hesitation, that we did and the car drove right on top of the water. We moved to our destination at the far end of the pond and parked there. we waited and waited and nothing ever happened. until the water started to swirl, big blue circles came up from under the car, and the car was pulled underwater.
magically, our car was safe and sound on a new road. in the middle of some street and we were surrounded by people. we cranked the car and parked it. got out, and noticed the party. most people were in these outlandish costumes. music was blaring, people were everywhere just having fun.
at some point i met sarah. she was hot, she was all legs. really, just skin tight pants over the legs and it stopped right there. no torso, head, arms… just legs. but she was still hot. and she became my date apparantly. and we hung out, walked around that sort of thing.

and i dont remember what happend next. ahh well

welcome to hp automated tech support
please state your product name or model number
me – what the fuck? oh hell (laughs) dammit i just want to talk to someone
sorry, i did not understand that request
please say your request again
me – still laughing
blah blah blah (me not paying attention)
me – uhhh
it’s important we recieve the correct responses to direct you to the best available person
please state is this for a home office or business
me – uhh
it’s important we recieve the correct responses to direct you to the best available person
hold on i’m connecting you now
beep beep beep hold dial tone wait
hold music
hold music stops. hears clicks
(in forieng accent) – thank you for calling hp total care my name is john can i get your blah blah blah (me not paying attention from laughing at this guys accent)
uhh yea i need a recovery cd for a pavilion
ok can i get your blah blah blah (still laughing)
ummm yea my model number is p8562a
ok can i get your telephone number
sure 123-123-1234
wait please(hold)
thanks for being on hold sir
can i get your model number please
sure it’s a 522n
and the serial number?
sure xxxxxxxxxx
that was xxxxyxxxxx
no, it’s xxxxxxxxx
you mean xxxxyxxyxx?
no it’s xxxxxxxxx
can you please spell out your first name?
phil
and your last name?
hart
have you called into hp with this phone number before?
(scrolls down the list of about 20 phone numbers we use for hp)
well yes, i have but i’m not sure if i’ve called this department
do you have a case number?
no, i do not
i have a customer number
a customer number?
yes
can you give that to me please?
sure its xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
i do not see that number
ok sir now how can i help you? what is the problem?
i’d just want to get recovery cd’s
you’d like recovery cd’s?
yes
i do not see that telephone number in our system
ok i’ll just create a new record for you then
can you please spell your last name?
and your address
sure it’s xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
are you calling from nord carooleeena?
yes
ok hold on please (hold)
just give me a moment, ok? (hold)
thanks for beinging on hold sir
ok that part is 23.46
Ok do you have any express shipping?
umm
do you have like next day or 2 day shipping?
uhhh
or do you just have standard shipping?
sir, standard shipping is 1 to 2 days
oh ok then thats fine
ok just give me a few minutes to process this order
waits
thanks for being on hold sir
yes
it will just be a moment sir
hold again
thanks for your patience
some lady picks up this is the floor supervisor
blah blah blah (non understandable accent)verify blah blah blah address please
ok sir and its in henderson nord carooleeena
please write order number xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ok sir and its going to be (blah blah)
ok sure
(blah blah blah)
ok uhhh can you give me the total price?
ok just one minute
ok the total price is 23.46
ok thank you
thank you
bye

i cant get on the internets it says somethign about the dial tone
ok , well that means that your computer’s picking up the phone line and not hearing a dial tone. you should check your cables to be sure they’re plugged in properly. If they are, it might be a problem with your modem.
i put america online on there, you reckon that got anything to do with it?
i dont think so, no dial tone means somethings not right with the connection
what would you do if you were me?
check the phone cable
i put that america online on there, you think that’s it
i think it’s the cable
what would you do if you were me? call america online?
you could try that
cuz i put that america online on there
ok
what would you do?
i’d restart the computer
restart it?
yea
ok
ok
then i’ll call america online
ok
bye

hello this is phil
yea umm i need a command prompt for windows 98 boot disk
hu?
i need a command prompt for windows 98 boot disk
what do you mean?
this thing says i need a command prompt disk
what are you trying to do?
install windows 98 from this boot disk
the cd for windows 98 should also come with a boot disk

that disk has command prompt on it. did you get a disk with your windows 98?
ummm
that disk has command prompt on it
ok

www.whootah.com!!! CRAZY TASTY!!!!

well doodiebug
i’ll be dog on pookiewoodle