i’ve never had a 23
dollar margarita, but now i know what one looks like. i can’t believe they
did what they did on the x files tonight. but i guess it is a fitting end
seeing as how the show is almost over. today i thought about relaxing.
i woke up after lunch time and eventually got outside to work in my yard.
and as i rode around on my 19 hp piece of machinery i considered if it was a
relaxing moment or just work. and i circled around and up and down and
criss cross and back over and over again. and i think i came to the
conclusion it could be relaxing. but it still feels like work. i got
in and took a nice cold shower. not all the way cold, just colder than
normal because i was hot. and then i stopped up the tub and let it fill up
as i floated to the top. that’s relaxing. where does fate lead me
tonight? as i was driving to town i electriced my windows down and let the
cool air blow through my face and that was relaxing. i even considered
doing a bit of cruising. that thought was relaxing, but that’s as far as
it went. i missed the train that i should have gotten on years ago i’m
sure. its far away now. i’m too far from it and that moment in chaos
has devoured this time frame. if this hadn’t of happened, would this have?
if that had happened this way, would this still have happened in a different
means? would it turn out this way in just this week or would it wait for
next year when the situation could cross again? last night i dont remember
dreaming anything. friday night i met a wonderful person. never seen
her before. chinese. but that’s all i remember. the orchestra
played for me tonight. i saw them twinkle the bells of the tubes and the
stars of the triangles. danced the folly round and about. this time
it ended on a sour note. everything was still the same as i left it
earlier. how incomprehensible is this? it has meaning and innuendo.
and innuendo has meaning. but one’s meaning may not be the meaning of
another. hence poetry. my poem may not mean the same to you today as
it does tomorrow. poems i’ve written in the past take on new meanings as
the years go by and i live out my future plans. some i finally understand
after a situation occurs. this. i don’t’ understand this. i
dont understand you and how you can sit there and read and say this man has no
life when you’re the one sitting there reading this nonsense. i’m creating
content for you to waste your time with. does this make me boring?
does this make me interesting? imagine if you could come to me and ask
what did you mean by when you said i missed the train that i should have gotten
on years ago? and i could give you this long speech of this and that
yonder. who where the 4? who were the 2? do i have a 1?
what is my favorite number? does everyone have a 1 for them? why is
it so hard to find that one. what if my one had an accident. and now
my 1 is -6 under? what happens to me? would there be another one?
or would i suffer the same fate and meet my one in the after? i would have
died for another. but where would that have put me now? cant you
tell how obscure i ‘m being? does it bother you? it wont get any
more meaningful than this. sorry. i protect the innocent here.
but people can be guilty as charged. i can hold a grudge. but
people change. and drastics can go to extremes. like a con artist.
who is telling the truth?

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