Burnt Lasagna & Old Memories

I now know what burnt soupy lasagna tastes like, and smells like, and what it’s like to clean out of a burnt pan. Naked. With hot oil. Having an audience. Outside. Listening to virgill on the loudspeakers. My god “elements” rocks it.

Five years ago, maybe take a 5 or so, I saw a tape in one of the tape holder thingies sitting beside the cash register at a gas station. I didn’t have the money to buy what I saw, for I would have bought it then. I passed it up, and would get it the next time I came by. It wasn’t there. It wasn’t there then, or the next time or the next. It wasn’t at that station, or that one, or that one or this one. I honestly kept my eye out for years looking for said tape again. Everywhere I went that had one of these displays.

Today, I finally found it. At a gas station that is no more than 10 miles from my house, that I’ve only been to no more than 5 times in my entire life. There it was. Steven Wright. So of course I picked it up and listened to the whole thing already. Absolutely hilarious. It’s a recording of a show he did in some club years ago. Brilliant stuff, this guy. Weirdo. I adore him.

I try to be funny sometimes, but my jokes end up more involved than his. And spontaneous. And perverted. And naked. And I don’t have an audience. Outside. The grass is littered with hot oil. There are lots of elemental rocks lying around. Lay. Lye. Lie. Low. Am I boring you? Good! Excuse me. *burp* It’s about that time.

I once wrote about a 5 page document without any paragraph breaks.

I have received a They Might Be Giants T-shirt and the new NO! CD. I have the DVD U-571 which I watched tonight. I have Ayumi Hamasaki’s CD I mentioned the last time. I have some other things I don’t remember. I bought a bag of Cracker Jacks even, just so I would have some presents for my birthday (the toy inside the Cracker Jacks).

Today I went to Staples. I bought some things. I bought notebooks and I bought a PC game, Warcraft 2 Battle.net Edition. Sweet. The lady at the counter asked if I should be playing my games or doing my school work. I told her I didn’t go to school. She gave me the evil eye. I said serious. She said come on. I said guess my age. She said 16. I showed her my brand new driver’s license. She said it was fake. I showed her the hologram. She said I could make that on the computer. I paid with my credit card. She asked if I get carded at bars; I said I rarely drink. I told her I get carded at movie theaters. She said not around here, they don’t care here. Which is true. I used to go to R-rated movies when I was in middle school. ’Cept I had no middle school, only elementary and high.

(Btw, my b-day was July 5, I’m 25 now.) The theater in Louisburg has this nice retro feel to it. Which it is. Especially the lower theater. I don’t know if it still does, but it used to have a small arcade room on the 2nd floor. I spent lots of time in there before. I once went to a movie there where me and my friend were the last 2 people they let in—it sold out. I think it was Ghostbusters 2. Or maybe 1. But prob 2.

It seems like I was offered to just go there one time and make out with some girl, but now I can’t remember who. Ah those were the days eheeh. I block out old things I don’t like. Like old girlfriends. I give them names sometimes. Only 2 have names. One more has a name just because it’s fun. But the other 2 because we parted on bad terms. But then maybe a bad term to me is me not initiating it. Crack the riddle in my poetries and you’ll hear all the details.

My cat ran outside yesterday. I don’t know if I’ll let him back in. It’s the third time in about 2 weeks. I love him to death, but I can’t deal with the bugs he brings back inside. I even give him baths in flea and tick shampoo.

Don’t ask why I’m writing this. Ask why you’re reading it. www.fark.net www.wired.com Did you know you can access my website through radialmonster.isfunky.com? Did you know I also own www.polkadottedpigs.com? Don’t ask.