A Strangers Story

I have returned safely from the trip, everything went wonderfully.  about 1500 miles round trip.  i’ll post a video when i can get it done.  the highlight this past weekend was my trip to the landfill.  I load up my trash into the car, and haul it to the local landfill where there is an old guy there all the time who watches the things you throw away.  i pulled in saturday, got out and proceeded to get the trash out of my car.  he is sitting in the shade next to a dumpster nearby.  “got you a new one there?” He always asks me that.

I’ve had my car for 2 years now and he always asks if i have a new one.  so i said “yea, well my other one just gave out on me.”  “If i were your age i’d get me a new car every 2 or 3 years anyway.  just get you a new one and trade the old one in.  then you’ll always have a new car, just put oil in it and dont worry about fixing it up.”  yea, that would work, lease payments are half the cost of purchasing a car these days, i said.  “yea, if i were your age that’s what i’d do.  i tell ya, i picked up a hitchhiker the other day.  i was going down the road and saw this girl on the side of the road walking so i stopped and asked if she needed a ride and she hopped in the truck.  cute young thing.  Mexican.  she said she needed to go pick up her car and she said to go on past the walmart. 

so we did, and i started to turn in there and she said no, keep on going.  she said go down to the food lion.  and we did, but she told me to keep on and turn at the light so i figured we’d go in the back way, you know down by the old folks home.  but she told me to still keep going and she told me to turn down this little road and it was one of them mexican trailer park places.  so i took her to the crack house down there and she asked how much money i had and i told her 2 dollars.  of course i had more than 2 dollars you know, i just didnt want her to know that.  and she pulled up her shirt and flashed me her titties and i said damn!  those were some little perky things just pointing right at me and damn i said so i gave her one of my dollars.  then she asked if i wanted to come inside and i said naw, i better not do that and i told her i had to go so she flashed them titties at me again and those pointy things just staring at me and i said here you go and gave her my other dollar.

yea, if i didn’t know her mom and weren’t in the middle of the mexican trailer park crack house i might of gone in with her.  but you know, my wife might not like that anyway.”  this entire story while i’m attempting to unload my car but i cant continue because this guy is so unbelievable i just stopped and set my trash on the ground and propped against a nearby dumpster.  “yea, i had this guy the other day, he’s about 38 years old and his wife is 26.  he said him and his wife were going down to myrtle beach for a vacation and wanted to know if i would go down with them.  free room, free food all i could eat, everything he’d pay for it.  he had the money.  but i got to look after his wife, take her down to the beach and swim with her because she likes to swim, and her old man cant swim.  so he’s paying me to go down and make sure she dont drown or anything like that.  and then he said she might want to have some suntan lotion put on her too and he gave me a little wink.  so uhhh i dont quite know what to make of that.  right cute young thing.

but i dont know about all that.  my wife told me i ought to go down there with them it’s a free vacation, but i didnt tell her the whole story either.” by this point i’m just hauling my trash away and laughing  this guy was crazy.  i’d seen him there for years, but he has never been like this. i got in my car, turned it around rolled down my windows and told him to tell me all about his beach trip next week.