I’m going to take my own advice and write some things here. Although not exactly sure what to say. I’m listening to Pandora station http://www.pandora.com/?sc=sh180275647318082744 if you’re interested in what I’m into at the moment. Its odd to go to the grocery store, see a pretty girl, her look up and smile at me, I walk right in front of her, say a short generic greeting like “how you doing” and hearing her say “good” after I’ve already flown past her and continue walking away. I stop for just a minute as I pretend to not know what I’m looking for and realize my mindset. Not needing to ask her anything more, make some stupid small talk like “when it’s snowing all that bread would be gone” since I can’t talk to pretty girls. Usually. I lock up. I mean she has to be just beautiful. When I was in 7th grade I had the biggest crush on my math teacher. I couldnt look her in the eye. I would always pretend my eyes were hurting or itchy or something and rub them so I could hide my eyes from her. Secretly, I would be peeking through. She had to know. I just knew she knew she had a schoolboy who admired her. During our 7th grade dance, I was sitting alone by the dance floor and she came up to me from across the room, leaned down to me and asked me to dance. I don’t even know what I said. But that we did, and we walked out to the floor and I felt so awkward touching her. I don’t really remember the song, but if I heard it again I probabally would. I don’t even know what we talked about, no idea. Later, she announced she was getting married. Close to her wedding day, I overheard her telling some of the other girls she was having a private wedding or something because there was one guy that may want to come and ruin it all. She was afraid he was going to come and object, and sweep her away and cause a big scene. I just knew she was referring to me. I mean looking back, that was silly. But then, I was so worried about it, that she thought I would do that. Of course I didnt. And she got married, and lived happily ever after, I guess.
Anyway, I guess my point this time is talking to pretty girls. I say the stupidest things, but usually not at all. And I know it shows when I do talk. So, when a beautiful girl cornered me and wanted me to reveal my inner deep secrets to her, I just couldn’t do it. But she knew and she knows. But it’s getting easier as time goes on. Hopefully, I’ll have to learn to live with it. And now, for just a moment, I can pass by another girl and not have to worry about what I’ll do when she glances up at me because I have other things on my mind anyway.
Here’s some recent random pics