princess
I feel like Mario. Every time I get to the end, I’m only, yet again, told “I’m sorry, but your princess is in another castle.” So, I’m waiting at the loading screen for the next stage. Except, right now, it’s just blank.
Holiday Updates
Christmas and New Years was good for me, just saw my family, hung out with all my friends. I did get the new camera I was wanting, a FujiFilm f30 model. Sample pics are below:
Gadita the Tiger
Christmas Day Puppies
Me with Chloe
New Years Eve night O games
More Gadita
A girl and her banana
Tim pondering
Other than wasting time taking pictures, I’ve wasted a lot more time on all the personal sites again. Whoring myself out there, another doll on the shelf. Already met some great people, but nothing consistent. If you ladies are playing the hard to get game you’ve already won as I won’t play. It’s hard for me to tell if a lady’s flirting or just being friendly. It’s got to be pretty obvious to me. Is the waitress taking extra special care of me because she’s interested, or she’s hoping for a good tip? So, let me know, or I’ll assume otherwise and move on. Of course I’ve already been in touch with several scammers. You know, those ‘russian brides’ who profess their love to you then ask for money to help thier sick momma. Or the hot girls who want to chat, if you get on their for pay webcam. The occasional dude who says ‘if you don’t find what you’re looking for i’m available’. no thanks guy. I got lonely, knew the game already from past experience, and decided to play with russian bride game this time. She emailed introducing herself, of course including some incredibly hot pictures. I googled up a known russian blacklist site, found the next already written e-mail that she would be sending and I sent that to her as my reply. She didn’t catch on, she fired off another email to me, to which I have yet to reply. I’ve gotten a few follow up e-mails asking how I am and why haven’t I written. I’m going to write back and say my family had an emergency and I need some money, baby. Or maybe I’ll say I have a business trip to Russia and am ready to meet. Anyway, I’ll play the game for a little while just to waste their time. Here’s the last e-mail she sent:
Dear Phil! Thanks for your e-mail . I did not inform you earlier Phil the address because it is not enough knew you. I live in average area of Russia, in city Obninsk. To regret it is far from you, differently it was not necessary for us much e-mail, to find out each other. We could meet, talk, to spend some time together and it is quite good to find out each other. But for us it will be not a fast way. But I hope, that it will not be problem for us if we shall decide to make it in the future. I already made some travel to other countries. I travelled, as the tourist, to Europe. Therefore Phil , you should not have excitements of that is present distance between us. I such woman, that if I shall like the person for a meeting with him, I shall reach even on the moon. In our days is not a problem to make such travel. I not I worry about it and even I have devoted feelings, having got acquainted with The person on the other hand. For me it is very interesting feelings- To find out the person with other culture, thinking, traditions. It One of things - which draws me to you. Not the main thing,- But new and interesting. Probably if our relations will be strong and you Phil, you can find out the mysterious Russian woman. I hope, that for you it is interesting to find out and test love of such woman? I think, dear Phil That you cannot resist to mine for a long time female magic, If happen so, that we shall be the person to To the person.On it I finish my message to you Phil. I to send you other my photo. I wait for your messages. Yours Olga.
Otherwise, haven’t been doing a whole lot, my mind is too pre-occupied. Lots of ideas of things to create, but just can’t get into that phase. The ideal thing for me is to have a partner who can help me, be with me, entice and inspire me to create. Someone that understands the tools of creation, not be jealous of them. If that doesn’t happen soon I’m sure i’ll get comfortable where I am and create anyway just as before. The content would be different I’m sure. But, that’s ok. Been playing the piano and guitar a lot more too, maybe I can catch back up on years of neglect and write some music again. Well, all for now. time for bed.
priceless
Priceless
it absolutely is priceless
stringing him along
thoughts of love
and hopes of more
promises of everything
only to be drawn away
right at the end
promises given
were misdirected
only to be sucked away
for another
priceless, he thought
those promises were his
12-18-2006
aftermaths
today i went shopping and bought a bunch of stuff to replace the things i had to remove from my house. There’s a big pile of junk in the den now of stuff i dont want, that’s not mine. It would be even bigger if i hadn’t of got tired, and am basically running out of space. hopefully it will magically disappear soon. I wanted to set a fire in my fireplace for christmas but now i cant get to it. i haven’t been allotted my christmas decorations so i don’t have anything but christmas gifts waiting to be wrapped for christmas scenery. I already sold the digital camera i had bought for a present. it was a nice fuji a500 or something. i would of kept it, but i’ve got my eye on a fuji f30. I hate the feeling of losing someone, but i also hate just as much the process of someone new. don’t get me wrong, it’s exciting and fun, but i have the hardest time finding someone i like, thats single, and i think would actually be interested. i also hate asking for a date even if i do see someone. i hardly ever do it. i bet i could sit here and think of all the times i’ve actually asked someone for a date.
hmm, there was that girl in the mall that gave out the sweet potatoe sticks, oh wait i never asked her out, i only asked her for her number. then i never called. i’m sorry.
then there was one of my now ex’s. it was all part of an elaborate plan where i had wrote a letter to my friend and let her read it. in the letter i wrote about me finding someone i liked, but never mentioned the name. then, one day i told her that person in the letter she read was her.
hmmm lets see there was the one girl that just didn’t see me as a religious enough to date. although for that one i did a pretty stupid thing that turned out all wrong, but it was a really good plan in my head, and she admitted it was very sweet. i went to the store, bought a tub of ice cream, bowls, spoons, and drove to her work. waited for her to get off work then i’d catch her outside and we’d have ice cream in the car. problem was she got off work early, and had already left. unbeknownst to me, i was still waiting outside in the parking lot until like 30 minutes after close. i called her to see when she’d be leaving, and she was already home. but she humored me and came to meet me there, but then she decided she wasnt hungry.
hm ok maybe i can’t think of every single time. i’m not including ones where someone else hooked us up on a date, or where she initated it. well, ya i probabally can think of every single time actually, but most of them don’t have elaborate stories to tell about. or i dont want to emberass anyone, or myself. ok i’m just blabbering. nothing gets me in the mood more to write than the mood i’m in now. which is alone.
anyway i guess my point to all this is that i actually had the nerve to ask a lady for lunch yesterday. i just felt comfortable enough to do so. she declined, but only declined for that day and said we could another day. i’m acceptable with that. will let you know how it goes as i’m definately interested in her.
if you havent been following my flickr stream, i’ve got a new cell phone with a camera. and although the idea seemed really great, the more pictures i take the less i like it. the quality just isn’t there like my real camera. but i guess that’s not the point, the point is to have some sort of set of interesting pictures from impromptu moments wherever i am. when you see one of these pictures on my flickr, i probabally just took and uploaded it the date and time it says, so if you see a new one pop up that’s more than likely where i am right then, or had just been. i’m tagging them with cameraphone so you can search my stream for cameraphone to see them. anyway, here’s a few:
well i’m off to bed. need to check to see if my new bedsheets are dry so i can make the bed.
point of no return
there’s this area of time where there’s 2 possible dimensions. a time before and a time after. and at some point there is a distinction between the two. a distinction so great that the two times would not be possible to reunite. the space shuttle on an outward journey, and it’s out of fuel. a half bloomed rose just before the frost. an expensive non refillable ink pen that’s starting to fade. where you just paid $30,000 for a new car, and then drive it off the lot. Something happens that tips the scales where either what’s coming ahead is far greater, where you can’t go back, or maybe you dont want to go back because it’s that bad. when you’ve realized it wouldn’t be possible to still have feelings for someone after knowing what’s going on. well i guess there’s another one for me.
The Cave
Alan’s set of troubadours Down By Avalon played at The Cave in Chapel Hill last night. Here’s selected pictures, more can be found at flickr. And yes, they even have myspace.
