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i’m just a small
part of your plan, i can see it.   I believe in contradictions.
the notes sing such melodies, only no one’s here to harmonize.  i’ve
redecorated my room to create a one second delay reverb so i can now truly talk
to myself.  i call my cat more ‘pet’ names than my last girlfriend.
maybe i’m looking at life in the wrong way. maybe i’m making it more complicated
than it is.  i mean, if a bunch of sims
can get together in the game of life and have a good job, create relationships
and the like by the direction of a few keystrokes, why isn’t life really that
simple?  can you really calculate and compute an algorithm for your life?
is it all a matter of time management?  invite a friend over every few
days.  entertain them.  get a tv and a big couch so you can all sit
and watch and talk.  be sure to eat in the morn and at night, be sure you
use the potty before your friends show up and you go all over the floor.
be sure you have enough energy to last you throughout the day, or you’ll fall
over from exhaustion.  pay your bills or you’ll be booted out.
but isn’t that all there really is to it?  who said it had to be so
complicated?  i now analyze in real life if it’s more time efficient for me
to go to the bathroom or to sleep now and go in the morning.    I
wonder if it’s more time efficient to wash my hands and to go have a quick
breakfast as opposed to not washing hands and having a big breakfast.  When
i’m with friends, i constantly search for a method to increase our fun meter.
i rearranged one of the first sentences i wrote above to apply more thought to
another.  i’m listening to yokko kanno.  i dont know if i spelled that
correctly.  i have to get up in about 7.5 hours.  i think i’ll take
some drugs (nyquil) tonight to help me sleep.  i usually only take drugs on
the night of a big trip, so i’ll be rested.  or when i’m just not sleeping
good recently for some reason.  maybe it’s stress.  i feared for my
life in my dream last night.  i hid around he other side of a car while i
lured the machine to the one parked next to it under water.  it got stuck,
assumed it was on me and exploded it’s thousands of pins and needles everywhere.
luckily, i swam away.  thanks to the man who yielded to me today.  it
was not necessary.  i felt bad afterwards.  i just noticed on #14
about about 2:30 or so, the release on the piano is cut short, you don’t hear
the full natural decay. being a little involved in music really forces changes
onto how you listen to music.  i notice the smallest thing.  but
everyone says i’m picky about everything anyway.  which i’ll agree to.
i didn’t go to the state fair this year.  i didn’t go last year.  i
have no ambition to go, too many people.  i can stand in my closet and let
everything topple down on top of me and be more comfortable than if i was in the
middle of that fair.  the rides scare me.  that is, the safety of the
rides scare me.  ahh well, enough randomness tonight.  my arm hurts.
it’s your fault.  night

Back in
August of this year, i wrote about a
operation by the FBI called Operation Candyman.  It was to catch and
prosecute child porn collectors, distributors, and contributors.  you may
view what

i wrote here.  courtesy of google
of course.  Today, I received a greatly appreciated e-mail from
Wired contributing editor
Steve Silberman regarding that
entry i made.  Steve informed me of an
excellent
article he has written for Wired following the catching, investigation and
prosecuting in this operation, especially against a particular individual by the
name of

Adam Vaughn.  If someone came up to me and asked if i had signed up for
a particular web site, i would have to say i have no idea.  every site i go
to (at least that interests me) i sign up for.  just so i can be sure i get
my preferred username before someone else does 😉  of course, that would be
radial or radialmonster.  so if you see a radial or radialmonster on a site
you’re visiting, say hi, its probably me.  But what is really scary about
the comments in the article is how they can prosecute you for what’s in your
browser cache, and even for things you’ve deleted!  do YOU know what’s in
your browser cache?  i can do a simple image search on google and get
things i’d rather not see, and since visiting
stileproject.com i’m pretty much
desensitized now to about everything.  i manage the spam at my work place,
i at least skim through about 5000 messages a day.  and you would be amazed
at the nastiness of some of the emails i’ve seen.  but to me now, it’s just
another email. just another junk mail.  i dont get offended one bit.
i laugh. but, if a spammer sends you an email and it is only an inline gif ( i
want you to know i typed fig 3 times before i ever got gif out) that
automagically pops up, you’re liable to end up 5 years in a federal prison.
i think i’d opt for the psych ward though if they’d let me.  but honestly,
if this guy was pulling up images, saving them to his hard drive, he had an
interest.  you can’t accidentally right click an image, choose save target
as and create a directory for them.  why would you even bother creating a
directory called too young if you know you shouldn’t be looking at them?
come on, that’s like someone getting accidentally run over by a train.  you
dont accidentally end up in front of a few thousand tons of metal lunging
towards you what with the roaring metal sounds and the for sure honking of the
horn.  i will be the first to admit i have some naked ladies on my
computer.  i’ve replied to those spams that say “is there pornography on
your computer?  run this program to find out and eradicate porn!”  i
replied to them and said there better be some porn on my computer, if there’s
not someone’s deleted it!!  they never responded.  but , i have never
done a background check on each picture i have to be sure it’s not someone under
18.  i go by what i’m told.  come on, i cant even watch a baby diaper
commercial on tv without getting disgusted, why would i want to get off on it?
and get real, i know of NO guy who doesn’t look at naked ladies.

tonight i walked up to a stranger and told her i liked her song.  i went to
Mars tonight for the open mic night for
songwriters.  if i knew it was songwriters, i might have seriously entered.
it wasn’t for if you could play good, it was for the song itself.  anyway,
this great young lady got up and sang and played guitar and her song was just
great.  i told her i liked it, she smiled shyfully, giggled and said “thank
you”.  she now has a fan. maybe i’m #1.  i then went to chik-fil-a and
got supper.  i said to a complete stranger in the bathroom ‘good luck’ as
he read a love letter.  he said ‘oh, this is just petty stuff’ and laughed.
i then dropped a dime while paying.  i said to the complete stranger next
to me, is it bad luck to pick up the dime on tails if it’s my dime?  then i
left him with a nice contemplating thought, and is a black cat bad luck if it’s
yours?  he just looked at me and said i dunno, and i laughed and walked
away.

I’m very curious as to where some of my visitors come from.
and for the life of me, i have NO IDEA how my site got listed here:

http://www.cachebeauty.com/link_directory/wrinkle_in_time_movie.html

hey, they
got me on camera!
Why does Iraq even have elections?

Just to humor himself? 

I know you’ve
done this to me.  I know you have given me carpel tunnel syndrome in an
attempt to silence me here.  but as you can see it’s not working.  I
don’t care that you take my cat and replace him, i don’t care that you send
ghosts to write messages to me in my counter tops.  I don’t care that you
took my alien baby from me years ago after turning me into an alien woman and
having your way with me.  but, it hurts to write about my complaints.
Maybe if you get me to write enough, i wont be able to write anymore.
luckily, i can still whack it.  and you should join the cause too.
www.masturbateforpeace.com.
if not that, i could go to McDonalds and look up some
porn on their
computers.  Talk about a new meaning for happy meals.  Such a
simple solution for a complex problem.  If this is true, and come on, it’s
on

CNN so it has to be, why hasn’t everyone heard of this?

I know some of
the readers here are Escher
fans.  Maybe you’ll find this guy interesting, he built ‘sculptures’ of
some of Escher’s works, and took pictures of them on his site.  Normal,
however these are made of Lego’s!
check it out.
He has some other interesting pieces he’s built too.  speaking of Lego’s,
some guy has some nifty
things he’s made too.

I have ghosts in my house.  I have proof now.  I come
home tonight and see my usual

kitchen mess.  Upon closer inspection, I see my
name written
on the
counter top! If you cant tell, it’s my name like backwards or something.
I have absolutely no clue how it got there.  I have found things fallen off
shelves before.  Not so unusual. But, I have a

Rinoa Heartily figure on my shelf above the computer.  The figure is
supported pretty securely by a plastic base that her feet clip into.  Well,
I’ve come home twice to find the figure on the floor, yet the base is still on
the shelf.  I’ve come home, and found a small chicken plush toy that was on
my top bookcase shelf on the floor.  Nothing else fell off the shelf.
I put it back on the shelf, and the next night, it was on the floor again!
psycho.

speaking of psycho, my friends tell me i need to see a shrink.
i mean, not just general acquaintances, but my close friends.  Now, i try
to be odd in general.  I like to make people think about things they
wouldn’t normally think of.  But does that mean i need to be examined?
The most psychotic thing that I’ve done recently happened just a few weeks ago.
I came home, and as always my fat cat came up to me and rubbed against me.
I picked him up, looked him in the eye and said to myself this isn’t my cat.
I looked at him pretty hard, and i came to the real conclusion the feline i held
in my hands was not my cat.  He had been replaced.  This cat LOOKED
like my cat, but it wasn’t him.  I put him down and he continued to rub
against me and walk around in circles and meow, and i couldn’t help to wonder
how this cat got here.  Time passed (it took several days) and i have since
gotten over it.  i think. but i still look at him cautiously.  reminds
me of a show i saw on PBS where this guy had some sort of problem in his brain.
The things he saw were not relating to his emotional side of his brain.
For instance, he would visit his mother, and swear it wasn’t his mother.
She’s a fake.  He would hear her on the phone however, and know it was her.
Because he wasn’t seeing her.  just hearing.  maybe that’s me.  I
mean, i know my mom.  I sometimes know my cat.  But, maybe it’s just
me, but i seem to lack emotion sometimes.  to put it another way, i let
things go in one ear and out the other.  in one eye and out the back of the
head.  I’m very forgetful.  don’t take things seriously.  is that
psycho?

The American
Memory of the Library of Congress.  The site offers
more than 7
million digital items from more than 100 historical collections.
Have i posted this cool Chinese site before? 
http://www.163.com/

Last nights show was great.
too bad you missed it 😉  didnt’ have as big as crowds as our last show .
i said as 4 times already.  its hard to write something poetic when your
listening to rock music.  i keep people on my yahoo messenger list that i
dont talk to anymore just so i can see that someone else is online too and i
dont feel so bad.  i saw jackie chan the other night on conan obrien.
you haven’t lived until you see jackie chan impersonate james brown.  i’m a
sex machine!  I feel good!  dont you think he wrote those two songs
together?  where it’s at.  i have no point tonight.  maybe i’ll
work on some music.

ok, the
mourning period has lost it’s fadness.    If you’re at all
interested, come see me and Mercy at Front Row in Wake Forest, NC on Saturday,
Sep 28 2002 starting at about 8:00 pm and lasting prob till midnight.
you’ll enjoy it.  really.  Of course, Mercy’s the talent.  i just
make her sound good 😉  eheh yea.  working on transferring the last
show to computer this week.  working on a solution to my transportation
problems.  taking my mom out for her birthday.  went out tonight with
a friend.  it’s 11:11 pm.  aint got any recording done yet.
tomorrow i take my car to get some modifications done oooo.  my baby.
getting a trailer hitch, and getting a trailer.  no more renting and
borrowing vehicles.  as you can tell my life is just busy now.  hard
to be in the mood to write here.  but all of a sudden after this coming
Saturday, it will all be very boring again ahh well.  planning on going to
busch gardens sometime in the near future.  ok, i actually have some
pictures i want you to see.  check them out at this link for now:

http://www.radialmonster.com/works/pictures/  enjoy.  I’ll fix
them up better one of these days.  aha right.

if you dont know of
the terrible tragedy here in USA yet, you are severely deprived.  read up
on www.cnn.com or something.  anyway for
my special take on the whole thing:  i found some pictures and stuff around
the net about the situation.  some of these came from the wonderful www.stileproject.com
so give them a visit sometime.  Most of the following i’ve pulled from IRC
chat’s i’m on now.  Very interesting stuff, give me props for being your
favorite news site, ok?

The freakiest thing i have seen is this set of posts on a
newsgroup from a guy called

Xinoehpoel.  Google
can be wierd to navigate, so I’ll copy the important ones here.

On August 31, he posted this:

someone replied with this:

Dear Xin,

The first post in this thread was from you, saying that
something was going to happen on August 31, and that you
would tell us what that thing was after it happened,
presumably on September 1.  I was only noticing that you
hadn’t followed through on what you said you’d do, and
instead had only written, “This is a witness against
everyone on this newsgroup.”

Now you write, “Since when do I post prophecies, other
than end of the world ones?”  Are you now saying that you
are taking back your promise to tell us the thing that you
said was going to happen on August 31?  Or are you saying
that the thing that happened August 31 was a witness against
everyone in this newsgroup, with no more specification than
that?

Just looking for some consistency and follow through from
you.  I am interested in what happened on August 31 that
fulfilled your premonition of August 30.  Or has it not
happened yet, and you are going to tell us after it does,
whatever the date?

Peace,
Tom McDonald

Then on September 4, 2001, the Xin guy posted this in
response

Wait 7 days, and then maybe I’ll answer this post. You see, I
am going away
in seven days, and you will not hear from me again.

X
September 6, 2001 he posted this

I said it was a witness, ie. a testimony. The testimony always
comes before
the prophesied judgment. For if I no testimony had been delivered, you would
not be guilty of sin. If you’ve been tracking me at all, you know the
prophesies I have made. The testimony had nothing to do with any cataclysm
as you now suggest. Truly, you only see what you want to see, and for this
reason, people must be destroyed, because although they can see, they are
yet blind.

X
Finally on September 11, 2001 the day of this event he posted this:

There are lots of posts by him and replies from other
people on the newsgroups
Read the ones from
Xinoehpoel starting on August 31.

That dude scares me.

In case the links stop working, search for 911 in the nostradomas news group i think it is. Here’s the only place i’ve found
of footage of the first plane crashing into the WTC.

<Icos> If you want insignificant number coincidences, The plane numbers were 93 (9+3 = 11 today) 75 (7+5 = 12
tommorow) 175 (7+5+1 = 13 next day) and 77 (7 +7 = 14, the next day)

here is an old pic of the city view, you can clearly see the
towers in this one.  it
was so pretty.   Want to donate money to Red Cross?  Here’s
a very quick and easy way to do so.  Info on the guy
currently suspected to be involved with this.  Rumor has it the Exec
Producer of Frasier was on one of the planes and a couple of LA Kings Scouts,
and the guy who cofounded Akamai Tech.

Anyone into more predictions?  Not sure where these are
from but maybe Nostrodomas.  Bom-Skwad quoting HerbalK –

<BoM-SKwad> <HerbalK> At forty-five degrees, the sky will burn,
<BoM-SKwad> <HerbalK> Fire approaches the great new city,
<BoM-SKwad> <HerbalK> Immediately a huge, scattered flame leaps up
<BoM-SKwad> <HerbalK> When they want to have verification from the Norman
<BoM-SKwad> <HerbalK> (Century VI, Quatrain 97)

<BoM-SKwad> <HerbalK> Earth-shaking fire from the center of the earth.
<BoM-SKwad> <HerbalK> will cause the towers around the New City to shake,
<BoM-SKwad> <HerbalK> Two great rocks for a long time will make war,
<BoM-SKwad> <HerbalK> And then Arethusa will color a new river red.
<BoM-SKwad> <HerbalK> (Century 1, Quatrain 87)

Looked at the Riot cam
in Manhattan now, its after 1:00am and it is completely empty of people!
reports that people that are still trapped in the rumble who are alive are
calling family members with their cell phones.  just heard that two of the
flight attendants on one flight called for help because they had been stabbed
before they crashed into the center.   taleban
web site has been hacked.  not sure if it’s related to this
though.  Here’s another
site with archives of pics and movies. ok oh my god.  some one posted
this on irc and i saw the pic and thought it was new.  but apparently it is
not, in fact at least 3 months old because of times of print.  check
out this photo   that was posted in the October edition of Wired
page 170 as someone’s album cover.  Here’s a site that has even
more footage of the events  This game
is just soo sad.  And now i’ve lost track of the links i’ve
posted.  but here’s another one i don’t care if i repeat them. its tooo
late.  this one is of
more
pics and movies

Well it’s 2:00am now and i’ve done my civil duty.  Thanks
for staying tuned and checking on the site.  i’m going to keep my irc on
tonight and log everything, maybe some new info and links will pop up.  if
i get anything interesting it’ll be here later tomorrow.

I started this
web site over a year ago.  I keep all my writings that have been on the
site.  Today, what more can I do for you than to relive that moment.
The night on 2001, September 11 and into the morning of 12th and a bit
thereafter, i lurched on IRC where i found tons and tons of people providing
info on the events.  I logged all the chats during that time, and this
glimpse of time on this one particular IRC channel provides insight to what was
going on during that time.  no one knew anything, it was all speculation.
rumors.  eye witness reports.  in these chat’s you’ll find links to
just then taken collections of photographs, movies, message board threads.
all sorts of things. for the first time, (i think)  i’m posting them here.
-chatlog-
I heard the news that morning while at work.  I was on the phone with a
customer who mentioned that two planes had just crashed into the towers.  I
honestly thought they were joking.  She swore she was watching it on TV.
Now, mind you, I work at an internet company.  We have 2 T1 lines into our
office.  I can download 150kbps on my workstation there.  But almost
all throughout the day, NO news website would even come up.  Occasionally,
CNN or Foxnews would come up. and show a headline or something then be cut off.
It’s ironic that we should be a source of information, yet we had absolutely
none.  We heard more from personal phone calls and regular radio than any
other method.  i came home that night and watched the videos on TV.  i
cant describe my feelings to you.  but i knew that i wanted to do
something.  and then here sits my own little soap box.  That night, i
sat on IRC, browsed all the web sites, did everything i could and as i found out
something new, i’d add it to the news post and save the page.  i bet i
saved my page about 50 times that night.  I had no idea i would create such
a huge post about the whole thing.  but i felt like i had something i could
do to contribute, so here goes.  ok, enough of that.   Here is an
exact copy of the news that I posted for September 11, 2001.  Some of the
links probably no longer work. but i have tried a few of them and some still do
work.  enjoy

Comments?
i’d love to hear from ya

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