Month: November 2001

ohhhhh yea so you know you’ve been playing video games too long when you see the
first Christmas decorations in your town and the first thing you think of is
Shenmue at Christmas time.  for those not in the know, shenmue 2 has been
cancelled in the us for dreamcast.  it has been moved to an xbox
exclusive.  when i get rich again, i’ll buy an xbox.  and i might just
have to buy a ps2 so i can play the final fantasy series.  speaking of
dreamcast, here’s a great dc emulation site:  consolevision.
it amazes me how these guys can figure out how to program that little box.
there’s even emu’s for the ps2 now.  and what’s the point of buying a
gameboy advance when you can get the games and an emulator online?  i am
into emulation, but i’m more into the collecting part of it.  i like to
have the old old arcade games.  pacman, tron, asteroids.  i like to be
able to play them and not have to pay 25 cents a pop.  plus, there are
quite a few new games on the emu scene.  the ones that use the custom 3d
hardware aren’t emulated yet.  but i’m sure it will be one day.  the
whole n64 emulator on the dreamcast was a joke.  the neogeo emu was a
joke.  i was there on the showdown that night with the supposed n64 emu
author.  it was a good show, and entertaining for sure. i got all the irc
logs.  however, there is a mame project for the dc, and mame does neo
geo.  neogeo was a great system, and snk made some great games, too bad
they recently went out of business.  i’d like to get an old sega saturn to
play bomberman, ecco the dolphin, knights, and that dragon saga or something or
another.  last neogeo system i saw was at the anime con here in durham.
and there’s an arcade neogeo system that has 4 games on it in a restaurant in
henderson.  and i fell in love with the game windjammers at some place in
zebulon.  but we wont talk about that.  arcades arent what they used
to be. i remember going to spring lake, no… something lake here in nc a long
time ago with a friend and his family.  they had a warehouse full of arcade
games.  now, there’s really nothing.  there’s only 2 i know of, one at
crabtree mall and one at adventure landing, a putt putt place in raleigh.
plus they’re so expensive now.  i think the last time i played an arcade
game was one of the dungeon and dragons series in crabtree with me and a
friend.  we actually beat the game, go us!  now, when i want to beat a
arcade game, i download it, play it and just keep hitting f1 to simulate a coin
drop!  so i helped steve some on a new ut map, just did some rearranging to
one of the rooms.  maybe he’ll have a release soon.  i’ve been too
busy with my music and stuff recently to do anything else.  just making
sure everything is perfect for saturday night.  i bought a bunch of plastic
containers tonight to put all my crap in.  i still need a fold up table,
and i want 2 little stands to put these huge 90pound speakers on, but no luck
yet.  i want a dimmable light for my dj table and a fan.  i want to
learn to mix beats, realtime.  i thought tonight of a way to get fruity
loops into playing 2 instances of winamp. hmmm  the timing would be too
terrible though.  i really like my new song.  i rarely really like
something i make, i’m too critical.  but it still needs more work.
dont worry, i know it ends too abruptly 😉  hmm i need to write some
poetry. just cuz i haven’t in a while.   ok i gotta test steve’s new
map….

Since most of you don’t read these news bits, just read this part :  NEW
MUSIC HAS BEEN ADDED!!  Please check it out, and let
me know what you think.   i worked long and hard on this one, and
actually think it turned out nice.  Now, my rant time.   Its the
end of a long weekend and i needed to update.  On Thanksgiving, i attended
my first house blessing.  If i was to buy a used house, I’d get mine
blessed, cept i wouldn’t know who to get to do it.  Speaking of spam, i
recently got a email saying that all i had to do was pay like 50 bucks and i
could be an ordained priest!  man, is it really that easy?  😉
hmm lets check my random spam messages today..  hmm seems like I’ve been
offered a job to help some company collect child support payments. and i have
another offer to increase my penis size by 1 to 3 inches by simply
taking a pill.    it seems like i dont’ get nearly as much
spam on Sundays for some reason.  ahh well.  so I’ve been spending the
dough, does anyone want a dj for a party?  ive got almost all the equipment
now.  why dont you come see me and Mercy December 1, 2001 at Philly Bistro
in Wake Forest?  You know, you’d think these cables are cheap, but once you
realize you need like 10 cables for different things and each cable is like 20
bucks, it adds up real quick.  plus, my mixer has decided to add some
effects of its own when it’s playing, and i have to have this mixer saturday.
i found  a place in raleigh that would service it, under warranty too, but
i have no guarantee i’ll get it back before our gig.  so … as i’ve gotten
into the habit after learning the hard way, i like to have redundant everything,
i bought another one 🙂  🙁  money money money, i hope by doing these
gigs i’ll at least be able to pay for my equipment, that’s all i want.  i’m
not looking to get rich, yet.  then i could give Steve
back his amp and buy one of my own.  If i ever do any real dj’ing, i need a
sub, and an amp for my sub and another for my main speakers.  plus, i need
a van or truck or trailer or something or another.  but i’ll make do for
now.  so i needed to get a new cd player anyway because mine in my computer
room has been skipping a lot recently. its sooo old..  and i needed one for
mercy’s singing, so i found this nice one at best buy that is a 5 cd changer,
and does mp3’s!  how cool is that?  i haven’t tested the mp3 part yet,
but i should be able to burn a disk tonight for it.  it even has digital
out, and all for $120.  cant beat that.  cept the digital cables are
$40 bucks EACH!  that just broke my heart, seeing as i had to buy 2 of
them.  but now I’m set.  my wish list:  wireless microphone, 2
nice crown amps, subwoofer, crossover, equalizer, another cd player for mixing,
and a van.  sigh…

What is up with
me and these midnight entries?? hmmm anyway, just one news note – NEW NOVEMBER
POETRY!! read it, and better yet tell me
what you think. that’s why it’s there.  today’s addition to the loneliness
page is – putting freshly washed sheets on the bed and no one to share them with.

so i bit
the bullet and now i have these unbelievably huge speakers.  i went to mars
early saturday morning and bought two jbl tr225’s.  2 15″ woofers and
a horn for highs.  of course, i didn’t have anything to plug them into, so
i had to wait till tonight to hear them!  and boy do they rock.  one
of my ears still feels like someone is pushing into it with their fist
constantly.  these baby’s handle 450 watts RMS, and 1800 watt peak!
Steve brought over a crown amp that really pushed them and we hooked it up to my
mixer board and even ran a game of UT on it!  rock on!  i also bought
a compressor/limiter that i will use to plug into the mic line.  oww my ear
hurts!  i also tested some last night running my guitar through the
compressor and it made a huge difference in the sound of it.  so i’m gonna
hopefully have something recorded through it pretty soon now.  other than
that, i just stayed at home all weekend.  playing with my new toys.
went to a early thanksgiving dinner sunday.  i need sleep.  i wanna
make some music, i wanna play a game.  i wanna clean my house.  took
me a while to put up all our toys me and steve brought out tonight. each speaker
weighs 90 pounds!  And the amps aren’t light either.  but now my room
doesn’t look like my current cam pic which is full of equipment.  like
anyone sees my room or anything else here anyway.

Ok, if your just
dumb then quit reading.  evidently your dumb cuz your still reading this
though.  anyway, i just made a section for con reports on the links
there.  so the con report for nekocon is there.  still working on
it!  lots of pictures, i have 3 pages done so far.  new november
poetry will be appearing in just a few minutes as soon as i can post it.
i’ve decided to quit school.  its not my responsibility to teach the class
just because i know more than anyone else.  i’m going to learn just like
everyone else is, but i aint learning a thing.  ahh well.  lets me
concentrate on more important thingies.  one of my favorite quotes this
week has got to be ‘are you the one who wrote that perverted song?’ (or
something like that) from a lady in cali.  ahh i have fans.  anyway,
hi jessica if you ever get your computer running again. i swear i didn’t put
that virus on it 😉  i actually want to make my latest poem into a song,
but no luck yet.  i have found a few good synths, but i need a good program
to generate some nice warm pad sounds.  i have found some, but i want a
free one!!  anyway….  hmm i’m really trying to update more.. so what
can i say?… ah.. i have had some pretty strange dreams.  i almost hate a certain
person for calling me early saturday morning and disrupting it.  it was so
sensual, yet it was nothing sexual about it.  sorry, i can’t explain
it.  but i had the love of my life literally (i hate that word) in the palm
of my hand and i chose not to come out of the dream world just yet, so we stayed
a little longer.  problem is, we never came back out together …. at least
it’s better than the nightmares i had been having recently.  i don’t think
anything’s as bad as having the depths of hell come after you in one dream, you
get murdered in another dream, and you just have this overwhelming feeling that
another dream is going to turn out very badly when it suddenly ends.  and
to top it all off, all three of those dreams were in one night!!  what is
going on with me?  i’d love to have a dream recorder.  i’d pay lots of
cash for it.  problem is i dont have lots of cash. i’d love to be able to
remember my dreams better.  i really do love my dreams.  and i just
simply dont have bad dreams.  so it was pretty disturbing to have all these
bad dreams i have been having recently.  i have had bad dreams.  just
none in a looong time.

Morning! 😉  I finally got my pictures back from our con trip!!! Yea!! I
have hence begun work on my very own con report for NekoCon 2001!!!  Check
it out.  umm i guess i will put it under the Articles section.
How’s that?  Theres only one thing there now anyway, it needs
company.  eheh  Please look at it, i spent a good deal amount of time
and energy in getting these pictures and providing this info to you.  Read
it, look at the nice pics.  Click on my banner ads! Better yet, buy one
of these crazy t-shirts from tshirthell.  BTW, today, i just received
word on a new shirt in stock!!  Here’s a quote:  Just a quick e-mail
to let everyone know that we have put a few new shirts up including one for all
you UNIX people out there (rm -rf /bin/laden).

So, i saw this ad
on another site somewhere or another, and thought it was too funny to pass
up.  tshirthell has some funny shirts that i know some of you may be
interested in.  so check them out and get one, most are only $16
bucks.  and don’t worry, they got some raunchy ones too!  i’m feeling
a lot better, although i just haven’t been getting enough sleep recently.
but that’s what the weekend is for, right?  no plans yet for weekend, i
suppose me and pretzel boy will collaborate  some.  friday night, me
and friends are going to play some ut.  i will undoubtly kick booty as
always.  check out our web page for our ut server at ut.vance.net.
my custom maps are on there, and so are viper’s.  we make maps for the game
and put them on our server for all to enjoy.  we’ve got our own little fan
base going.  our server is frequently busy with players, it’s great to have
other’s enjoy one of your own creations like this.  i just haven’t been
doing a lot of mapping lately.  been interested in my other projects,
mostly music.  i need some new guitar strings for my acoustic alvarez.
its starting to sound dull.  in a quest to keep you coming here, i really
am going to try to write more often.  that’s what this is before, as i said
earlier.  my expressions of ideas and ideals.  i need cash. there’s
things i want to buy.  i need some music equipment for when i start dj’ing.
i need a new computer.  i need to take my animals to the vet.  one
thing i dont sacrifice on is food.  i’m not going to suffer through not
eating.  that’s not the american way.  there was some show on pbs the
other night on things called colonials.  or something like that. places in
southern texas and scattered around other parts of the country where these
people, mostly of mexican decent, were lured to these places to build their
homes because farmers were selling land cheap.  what these buyers didnt
know is that this was being done under the table, and not reported to the local
officials.  therefore, no sewer, or water was ever run to these
developments.  been that way for almost 40 years.  these places are
out in the desert sometimes.  one is in the middle of a dried up
lake.  when it rains, the ground instantly fills with water.  they
have no real roads there, so the people sometimes can not get out to work, or
can’t get back home.  finally a bunch of them got together and went before
their county officials and demanded some money for things like roads and sewer
and water and they are starting to get them.  some of the officials were
like well lets just deport them, but they can’t because these aren’t illegal
immigrants.  these are American citizens.  they can’t get out because
they make little money at the jobs they have, they have to pay so much money to
keep up their old houses like this one guy actually saved up enough money to
build a really nice house and his own water well cuz he couldn’t get
water.  turned out it was very hard water, and every 2 years he has to
replace all his fixtures in the house.  he can’t do much with the water but
water the grass.  anyway…

i wanted to see the
american race the other night but the stupid country music awards were
on.  the only reason i watch that show is cuz that girl emily on there is
so cute. and she actually has a personality.  i was pretty upset last
episode when her and her mom came in last place.  then the guys said that
that wasn’t a critical point and they would not be kicked off the game.  so
she’s on for one more show.  the other day i went grocery shopping.  i
spent too much money on food that day, but i got a lot of stuff i wanted.
and a new addition to the loneliness page is when you walk by a aisle of
greeting cards and your first thought is to buy one for the sole purpose of
sending it to your self.

New web cam
software, seeing as how Logitech seemed to take out all custom functions in
their new version of the quick cam software.  So i’m trying out some new
stuff.  While i was here, i cleaned up the pages a bit.  Yea, i know,
a lot of the old banners aren’t here anymore.  no one clicked on them
anyway, the accounts had already been turned off for inactivity.  thanks
for your support.  yea, i know, i removed a lot of the old news from the
main page. no one read it anyway.  thanks for your support.  i’m
leaving up the paypal logo and the top banner ads.  no one clicks on them
anyway, but if you did click on something those are the two best things to click
on.  thanks for your support.  page hits are down, and this site was
never about hits, or making money.  it was about me sharing my ideas with
you.  it’s about my poetry, stories, music, and my odd news
commentary.  just me being me.  i even share
pics
of myself sometimes.  however, since October 12, there have only been 8
different visitors to this site.  That number may actually be higher, i’m
not counting IP addresses that are showing up in the logs, only IP’s that have a
reverse dns entry, for instance i can tell that someone from aol
came here, or mindspring, or the
like.  some don’t’ have a name though.  so what’s the deal.  what
more do you want?  free porn is always a good thing to attract people, but
i’ve had people i care for tell me they wouldn’t link to my page if i had porn
(although its a moot point since she’s never linked to me anyway ahem.. 😉 , so
i’m not going to go that route.  give away free things?  ha!  if
i actually made a penny from this site, i’d be ecstatic, and free things have to
be paid for by someone.  to be honest, as of this very second, i have made approximately
$2.50 from this site since i launched it in june of 2001.  so what else
could i offer?  i could write about my pathetic life more.  i have
tried to keep my personal life out of the site.  when i feel down and i
think it can’t be worse, i read something
awful, or stileproject.
a day in the life of stile
just sucks so bad, it will make anyone’s life seem like a walk in the clouds.
do you know what all these little words with underlines are for?  that
means you can click on them.  it means it will take you somewhere else so
you can waste more time.  examine some of the links i post, they are there
for a reason.  and like the last 2 links, they don’t always take you to the
same place just because i’m talking about the same thing.  the links i
choose to include here compliment what i am writing.  use them.

fine,
you want pathetic life.  no problem.  although now i’m not in the mood
to write about my pathetic life, i’d rather write about my pathetic web
page.  i’d rather ramble about nothingness because that’s what blog‘s
are for.  i just added a new thingy to here, please rate my page using the
link on the right hand side there.  be honest, i dont’ care.  i just
want you to click on it.  you dont’ have to fill out anything, just click
on good or bad.  how hard is that?  yea, i removed all the real old
news.  dont worry, i still have it archived, just no way to get to it yet.
i’m a pack rat, i keep stuff forever.  i have all the news I’ve ever posted
to here, even my very first message.  organized by the month it was posted.
one day i’ll put that stuff up so you can get to it.  ramble ramble ramble
i keep old stuff.  i have a darth vader bank that was sold when the
original star wars came out, like in 1977.  i bet it’s worth something
now.  but i wouldn’t sell it.  it’s shaped like darth’s head.
made out of ceramic or something.  of course, there’s no money in it.
just like there’s no money in my checking account.  but i keep getting
these things from a credit card place that says  $4,200 on it, so that must
be where my money is. hmmm  ramble ramble

spam is
just terrible.  i mean email spam.  but as much as i hate it i would
like a targeted email system if i had to choose anything.  i don’t need to
loose 30 pounds in a week. i dont need a bigger penis, i dont’ need to increase
my breast size.  i don’t want a free camera, i dont need to investigate
someone, i dont need a divorce lawyer, i don’t want to reduce my long distance
costs, and i sure as hell don’t want fresh vegetables to use as sexual
toys.  ramble………………….

the anime convention
was most excellent.  i was waiting to post my report on it till i got my pictures
back, but they haven’t arrived yet.  8 rolls of film!!  we had a load
of fun though.  bush gardens was waaayyy too crowded.  we had to wait
in line just to cross over some of the big bridges there to get around the
park.  we waited 2 hours to ride alpengheist.  we didn’t even get to
ride one of the coasters there.  but i had to partake in our annual trip,
so i have not broken tradition.  ramble

music is music to
my ears.  i’ve been working on more dance techno style things.  i do
have some guitar songs done, but i haven’t recorded them good yet.  i’m
going to collaborate with pretzelboy  on making some pop dance style
stuff.  information society, hooverphonic, kind of stuff.  i’m going
to start dj’ing for my other friend who is getting some singing gigs. i have a
good feeling about that in several ways.  i need some equipment though, if
you have any PA eq to sell, let me know.  school sucks.  that’s all it
deserves now.  dance dance revolution is a great game.  they had a
tourney at the con.  i purchased the 5th mix soundtrack, and i love
it.  lots of good songs on there, introduced me to lots of good artists,
smile.dk, bambee, atomic kitten, e-rotic, aromabar, and even mike oldfield.
listening to aromabar -winter pagent now.  what part did i play??
good slow trance style.  purchased the full version of fruityloops this
week. i love it.  piano roll is very handy.  you can do amazing things
with this software.  contemplating purchasing Vegas audio/video for
multitrack editing.  there’s so many red squiggly lines on this page its
unreal. ohhh look theres one now, and another, and heres one too.  got new
eric clapton cd.  its ok.  still like unplugged better.  ramble
ramble……

i’m going to make a page with just ads
for dating services.  they will  help us losers out who are single and
hopeless, not to mention give me a small kickback.  they do work, its not
the services fault you are ugly and stupid and dont know anything.  but you
never know.  i want to change the way i display poetry here.  i want
to put each poem in its own file and have it randomly select a few to print when
you go to poetry.  i want to create a way i can add a poem from anywhere,
and news too.  all things i envisioned being able to do when i started
this.  just haven’t done it.  web page work has died down because i’ve
lost interest.  not this site, but my other commercial sites.  plus
lack of money hurts too :(.  but i do have ventures lets just leave it at
that.  i dont know where i will be long term.  not computers.
computers is a job.  it pays bills.  i do enjoy it, and am competent
at the things i do.  i could do more.  but it’s not my thing.
i’m creative.  i want to create things.  that’s the only reason i
really wanted to do web pages because i would be creating something.  but
that’s not artistic.  i want to be a famous poet.  i want to be known
in the underground circuits as a great song writer.  long term goals
here.  work gets in the way of my ambitions.  i need to learn and
practice.  im tired of this A+ certification class i’m taking.  as
soon as it’s over, i’m finding a guitar or some kind of music class.  i’ve
never taken any music lessons in my life.  all i know i have taught
myself.  i could do more.  i know no music theory cept if it sounds
good go with it.  sometimes that’s all you  need though.

i’m
sick.  it hurts to breathe, it hurts to drink a glass of milk.  i love
milk.  i didn’t want to eat tonight, but i knew i had to.  i feel like
i can’t stay out of work.  i have 3 places to be already scheduled for the
morning.  maybe i’ll do those and go home.  i dont take vacation at
work because i’m afraid something will happen and no one will know what to
do.  besides, i dont’ have anyone to take vacation with anyway so it doesn’t
matter.  i was supposed to have taken a big trip to disney world September
for a whole week, but that got abruptly cancelled without my
participation.  i want to create a pathetic loneliness page that lists ways
to describe loneliness.  maybe a song, or poem.  but today’s addition
to the list is staying home sick and knowing there’s no one there to take care
of you.  i’m done.