Sunday, May 25 2003

So I went straight from
work friday afternoon to Animazement.  As I walked into the door i was
immediately greeted by Scott, Dewee and TJ.  Pretty good timing considering
they didnt know i was coming friday night.  So i went to get registered and
went into the anime music video contest.  2 hours of fan created music
videos.  3rd place was Kingdom hearts, 2nd was i forget right now, but 1st
was the Yatta video. and i dunno if i spelled that right.  Took some
pictures and the like, and browsed around a bit.  We were going to the
dance, but considering it was supposed to start at midnight and at 12:30 it
still hadnt started, we decided to leave.  Came back saturday, did some
dealer room shopping, took lots of pictures.  Saw Arjuna in one of the
video rooms.  I’ve already seen it once, and decided to buy it, but i
wanted to see it on the big screen cuz it’s such a wonderful episode.  Hung
around and just had some fun, went to eat and came back for cosplay.  we
didnt wait in line, just waited around until the line finally did make it all
inside and then went in.  the guy saw i had a video camera and offered for
me to go up front with it and i said i’d be just as happy if he’d let me stand
against the back wall and that he did.  i got pretty much the entire
cosplay on tape, except for obvious nulls and tape and battery changes.
afterwards, we exited, and found a tv nearby that was showing the rewards part
of it, so we hung around there, especially because rikku, yuna and leena were
there and i got some good pictures of them.  then we observed some great
hackysacking in the hallways while we waited for the dance.  finally, that
started and me and scott joined in there.  we didnt dance although we did
join the conga line as it went around the dance floor.  i was disappointed
in the music they were playing, i was expecting it to be jpop but it was mostly
american music.  ahh well still cool.  i finally got home around 3
sunday morning or so.  i will spare you the details but i found another
dog, so i had to take care of him.  i then took a shower and went to bed.
i think it was daylight by then.  so mostly today i slept.  i’ve
messed around with some of the video i got.  i’ll make something out of it
sometime soon.  listening now to a new Ayumi Hamasaki CD i bought there,
Rainbow and its definitely pretty cool.  please check out my pictures i
took at the con!  click on the left to con reports and follow the link to
animazement 2003.  write me!

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

i’ve had some sort of cold thing for a
week now.  i’m almost better, but not back to normal yet.  although
normal isnt quite here anyway, and here isn’t normally abnormal except for the
times i’m around, which is normal.  Just to continue the story, this past
weekend i buried 2 more dogs, and i buried 2 more last night.  my house is
not the place for a dog to have puppies apparently.   now, my yard is
full of graves and my house will be haunted.  in other news.  my tv
season is over.  maybe i can concentrate on other things during the time i
would normally be watching 24 and american idol and simpsons.  i’m trying
to gear up to write some more on my new web site.  i’m trying to write more
in general.  in fact, there will be a new poetry item posted tonight.
been on a slight roll as compared to previous months.  this coming weekend
animazement.  i’ll be there,
probably going friday night and back for saturday.  i want to see the music
video contest which runs friday night. they do a replay of it saturday during
the day, but i want to be sure i can take pictures and videos and attend some
classes too.  twill be fun.  as such, be prepared sometime in the near
future for me to update my con reports page with the new pics.

Monday, May 12, 2003

If you live in DC i
probably think you’re an ass, unless you work for lonestar in fredricksburg. I
left monday night right after work, drove up to DC and stopped to get some
supper at lonestar.  i continued on my way until i finally got to dc and
found about where i needed to be.  i decided to drive around some since it
was only about 9:30 pm or so.  i followed the road i was on, not turning
off that way i could just turn around and go back.  did some sight seeing.
i got to the end of the road a while down and turned around to come back.
i started to look for a hotel, and found several, but they were either taken or
outrageous in price.  like 300 bucks outrageous.  ’emergency’ rate
they said.  so i finally, after getting lost, found a hotel that would take
me and i didnt care about the price because it was already after 11:00 pm.
it was a doubletree hotel, and pretty nice.  too bad i was only going to be
there for no more than 10 hours.  and i had to sleep through most of that.
woke up at 7 to get ready for my class and went on.  got lost going to my
class and ended up getting there at 9:15 at my 9:00 class.  oh well.
no one cared.  after class, i left for home and of course got lost again.
the roundabout got me.  ughghh i hate those things.   no one
wants to let you in, everyone wants you out once you get in and going around in
circles with about 50 other cars in 4 lanes while trying to find the correct
exit out of it is not fun, if not impossible.  i hate them.  hate.
i would of been perfectly fine if i hadnt of ran into that thing.  but
since i did, i got lost, i didnt know where i exited, i couldnt figure out how
to get back so i just drove.  i picked a direction and just drove on that
road because i knew eventually it would lead me to the highway that circles the
city.  that it did.  after about 30 minutes later.  but once i
got on that i was fine, i knew my way home so off i went.  i stopped once
for gas, other than that i trucked it down 95, 85 and 1 all the way until i got
home.  didnt even stop to eat supper.  total trip was about 560 miles.
and i was very tired.

i spoke with pretzelboy and berb this
weekend after we went to see xmen 2 which was awesome.  i talked about my
writing, or lack thereof.  my writing doesnt live up to my own standards.
but i’m trying.  and even though i think its mundane to write about my
everyday activities, maybe you enjoy it.  so i’ll try to write more.
here’s an insight into my current life.  if it doesnt depress you then i
dont know what else will.

i’m not sure how i got here.
feels like things are falling apart actually.  i got in a wreck a few weeks
ago.  i’m ok, messed up my neck a little, but its normal for me for that to
happen.  i’m feeling better now.  anyway, i’m driving a rental now.
car’s in the shop.  maybe i’ll get it by the weekend, but i kinda doubt it.
i’m not happy with my home life.  i have too many dogs.  i have 2
litters of puppies.  the first litter, they just dont like people a lot.
cept for one puppy, he liked me.  so i gave him a bath, and after getting
complaints about all my dogs, got a fence and put him in it.  i tried to
capture the other dogs, but they got used to my trap and wont let me trap them.
when i did trap them, i would try to put them in the cage, and they would bite
me pretty good, i’d get them in and they’d get out by the end of the day.
meanwhile, another dog had puppies.  i got those dogs and put them in the
pen so maybe i’d have a better chance of them liking me.  they seem nice to
me pretty much.  so now i got too many dogs.  out of all the dogs i
have i only want 3.  tio who is mommy to litter 1, murray who is the mamma
of litter 2, and pitter who murray is the mamma of.  my dads dog took up
here a long time ago and has never left.  2 of murray’s old puppies are
around and wont go away.  and i have all these puppies.  they make
noise, eat up some food, require me to constantly keep them in the cage.
murray can always find a way out, or make a way out.  then i have to fix
the wiring almost everyday.  well one day, i come home and one of murray’s
puppies is lying in the cage, dead.  not very unusual for her puppies to
die, i dont know what it is about her, but a lot of her puppies dont survive.
so i buried him.  that was maybe 2 weeks ago.  then last week,
thursday, i get home from work and see one of my puppies has caught his leg in
between a bucket and the bucket handle.  he appeared dead.  so i went
to check on him and he’s very much alive.  i lift the handle and pick him
up, and his leg just dangles.  there’s a large hole in his inner joint and
the water that was in the bucket is a nasty brown.  the hole stunk, flies
were all around it.  his leg had separated from his hip completely.
put peroxide on him and doctored him up a bit.  then late at night i put
him back in his cage so he could be with the other dogs.

friday morning, i called the vet, and had to ask them to put
him to sleep for me.  i dont have the money to spend to fix him.  i
dont know if they even could fix him.  so they told me to come in, but it
woudl be a while.  so i went outside and dug his grave, while he watched
me.  i wonder if he knew what i was doing, or what would happen.  i
got done, put him in a carrying case and took him to the vet.  walked in,
they took the case in the back and had me wait.  i waited.  i declined
to be present while they did it. 5 minutes later they called me up.  i went
up, paid my bill of about $35 dollars and they handed me my case back.
inside was a small plastic bag with the pre-printed words ‘rest in peace’.
i declined to have them dispose of the dog for an extra $35.  i could bury
him just as easily.  i put him back on the front seat and drove back home.
took the bag out of the case and took it to the hole i dug.  i emptied him
out of the bag and he fell out just as limp like.  almost poured out.
just 15 minutes before this, i had him in my arms telling him he’ll feel better
soon.  i situated him in the hole and covered him up with dirt.  took
a shower and went straight to work.  by saturday, an ad was appearing in
the paper for free puppies.

saturday, i woke up and my power was out.  so i went over
to pretzel boys house and we hung it out.  i got home sat night and power
was restored.  sunday, i woke up and was preparing to start on some yard
work.  i had to go to my moms lake house sunday afternoon for a mothers day
supper thing.  so i had to get my grass cut in the morning.  i got a
phone call from someone who wanted to see my puppies, i said come on, gave
directions and they said they’d be here in an hour.  so i went outside, and
checked out all the puppies in the fence and saw they were all fine.  i
gave them food and the like and in my going abouts, i looked under my shed to
find another dead dog.  this was from tio’s litter.  i contemplated
leaving him there until the person came to look at the puppies.  maybe he
wouldnt see him.  then i thought maybe he would smell him and that would
make me seem bad.  so i decided to rush and bury him before he arrived.
and that i did, i dug another grave, #3 now, dug the grave, and put him in and
covered him up good. not long afterwards, the guy came to look at my puppies.
he said he’d think about it and get back with me after he looks around.  i
cut my grass, and went to the lake that afternoon.

monday, today.  i get home from work.  i check out
the puppies, they seem fine.  i go to get some dog food, take it out there
and notice one of the dogs isnt as happy as normal.  he looked up at me and
i asked him what was wrong.  he didnt respond.  he didnt look good.
so i went in the fence, and shooed away the flies.  i petted him and he
sighed.  i picked him up and he just didnt seem to care.  he was very
limp.  extremely limp.  i picked him up and he felt limp as the other
dog i had put to sleep, cept he wasnt asleep.  i had to support every part
of his body when i picked him up or i was afraid it would fall down and break
his bones.  especially his head.  i put him out of the fence and took
him towards the house.  i layed him out on the ground and petted him.
he was so limp, i just cant describe it.  never seen a live animal like
that.  his breath already smelt of dead dog.  he didnt say much, didnt
even blink.  i went in and got him some water.  i opened his mouth and
poured it in.  i gave him 3 bowls full of water.  i would lift up his
lip and it would stay up, thats how limp he was.  i felt like he’d been
drugged or poisoned or something.  so i gave him all the water he would
drink.  he did start to swallow it.  and i rubbed him and played with
his legs to give him some movement and turned him over a few times so he’d be
comfortable.  he would move his legs a bit occasionally.  but his
whole body was still just as limp.  i found my self watching his body
breathe in and out and when he breathed out, i’d push on his ribs to help him
let it out and back in.  i got up to go get the dog food i had took to the
fence, and came back with a handful to give to him.  and as i went to put
it in his mouth, he moved his legs.  all his legs moved.  in fact they
were straightening out.  his entire body curled up, his back arched and his
head bent inward.  i hit him several times. hard.  he just kept
curling up.  threw up the water i gave him.  i pushed in and out of
his rib cage.  he didnt seem to be moving it.  i pushed on him until i
could hear the breath coming out of his body.  i continued, i lifted him up
by his hind legs to see if water would come out, some did.  he was so limp
he was swaying.  i layed him back down and continued to push on him for a
while, hoping something would happen.  but it never did.  he had died
right there in my arms.  after the realization i cant do any more, i got up
and started working on his grave.  while i was digging, i checked under the
shed again because i smelt something bad, and sure enough there’s another dead
dog under the shed.  i dug a grave for two tonight.  so it had to be
pretty big.  i got it big enough, and had to get the dog out from under the
shed.  he was under it pretty good.  i had to get a hoe out and pull
him out from under it.  so that i did and layed his almost stiff body in
the bottom of the grave.  i instinctively patted him on his stomach and it
made a very loud hollow sounding thump.  i covered him some with dirt, more
deep thumping sounds, and went to get the other dog.  i picked him up and
he swayed back and forth as i carried  him to the hole.  i layed him
in it too and covered them both up.  as i finished, and drug the dirt on
top to level it out, i stepped on it to pack it down.  the dirt sank a good
few inches.  and i continued to pack it down until i couldn’t anymore.
last i checked, all my dogs were still alive.

I changed clothes, got my bank deposit ready i needed to make,
headed up to town.  stopped in subway to get supper.  its already past
9:00 pm at this point and after what i just went through i dont wanna cook.
so go in, and they’re playing our local G105 radio station.  on comes
aerosmith.  or so i thought. then m&m comes on and starts ‘rapping’ or
whatever he does.  i shake my head and the lady looks at me and i say im
shaking my head because i cant believe this song is for real.  and we talk
about who is better, which version of the song is better.  and all that.
she asks if i want chips and drink and i say yes.  i reach for the chips.
i get baked Doritos.  i look at the back instantly and read it.  she
says, ‘you on a diet?’  and you cant possibly appreciate that unless you
know how skinny i am.  and i hesitated for a minute because she actually
caught that.  i pull out the regular Doritos and point out it has 13 grams
of fat.  this baked has 4 grams.  and i say not many people realize
how much fat it has in it.  even though i’m skinny, that doesnt mean i dont/cant
watch what i eat.  i go over to my friend scott’s house.  i needed to
pick up something from him. he showed me some animatrix previews, which looks
awesome.  he also showed me his anime music video him and a friend just
finished making.  still some final touches, but for the most part its
through.  too bad its too late to enter it in this years
animazement.  went home, took a
shower, ate supper and here i am.  night
write me, i’m lonely

putting a new work on the site tonight.  and it was even written last night
before all this crap today!