Tuesday, November 26, 2002

so I saw the new
James Bond movie last night, Die Another Day.  Awesomely perfect.  I
watched 15 minutes of previews.  then they showed the little pre game show
where they tell you how to leave in case the building catches on fire.  I
was ready for the dun dun da dun da when they showed TWO more previews!
everyone laughed.  Madonna’s song rocks too.  I’m also listening to
the new Mitsubishi commercial’s song, Just Breathe.  by Telepopmusik.
also awesomeness.  there’s an extremely calming feeling when you’re in the
mens room by yourself.  just walk on in, you can even start whipping it out
before you get there.  Relax standing there, you can stand just as far back
as it’ll flow.  You don’t mind farting, burping, scratching yourself.
But, there’s an extreme sense of awkwardness when you walk into the bathroom and
look at a wall of 3 urinals and you see one guy on both sides.  There’s
just as odd uneasiness when you’re there alone doing your chores and another
walks in.  you must cover up, move closer, try not to touch it with your
tip,  turn slightly away from him, and take your stance.   Wonder
if the other guy is watching, wondering why you’re wondering if the other guy
may be watching.  a pin could drop in a room like that and the whole room
would hear it.  and you stand there and shake it off and wonder if you look
silly.  carefully listening to the other to be sure you both don’t head for
the sinks at the same time.  trying to beat the other guy who came in after
you cuz you were there first, so you should finish first.  if you didn’t
finish first, then what were you doing?

Sunday, November 24, 2002

a day in the life
of a single guy.  i went shopping last night.  for myself.  and
as i walked around the mall, i realized again what pointless of a situation it
is to circle the mall.  over and over.  i went into the store i was
needing to go to, made my purchase.  i had a box of 4 rolls of film.
you can buy 2 more rolls for only a dollar if you get this box.   sure
why not.  the power of marketing, i said to the guy.  and as i exited
i got caught up in the flow of traffic which meant that i was to walk on the
bottom floor all around the mall, then go up to the second floor and circle that
one too.  onlooker as i passed by stores, odd make shift shops in the
middle while i sang the song I’m a girl watcher to myself.  i browsed the
arcade, and relaxed for a while watching and listening to a few guys compete at
DDR, and I knew the words to all the songs, since I have the 5th mix on CD.
Someone brought foot stools, or maybe the arcade provided them.  but there
was a small crowd at the ddr machine, lots of teenagers sitting around on the
floor and the stools.  reminded me of an anime con.  of course, there was the
obligatory goth couple.  who sat between two other machines near me.
after a few songs, i left, and browsed for some food.  decided on chik fil
a and had a seat.  i watched the people in the food court eating their
foods, talking to their friends, browsing through what they bought.  then i
noticed him.  he was sitting alone.  far away from me.  older,
maybe 28-30.  and he seemed to look at the passing ladies like i did.
come on, a single guy like myself has to amuse himself somehow.  and i
realized that i wasn’t the only pathetic guy in the mall, all alone, sitting
here hoping to get a glimpse of a cute girl.  but i felt like he was
watching me too.  like i was his competition. or maybe like he didn’t want
anyone else to notice he was alone and looking.  anyway, i continued to eat
my food, nodding at people walking by.  twiddling my thumbs and otherwise
wasting time.  and i looked up to notice the guy was now no longer alone.
apparently a friend had joined him.  they were talking and looking and
laughing and all.  ok, so i was wrong.  i was the only pathetic guy in
the mall.  and i looked up later once more and i saw a guy walking across
all the tables by himself, but jabbing away on a cell phone.  and i noticed
from the corner of my eye, a lady walking from the other side in the same
direction as the guy walking alone jabbing on her cell phone.  i was waiting for the
two to meet and sit down to a table.  however, each sat down at different
tables.  each continuing to talk. and i never noticed the guy get up for
any food or anything.  and i wondered if maybe he was really like me, here
all alone, with no one to talk to, but too embarrassed to admit it, so he’s
acting like he’s talking to someone on his phone when in reality it’s only the
operator.  and the lady, i had lost sight of her.  but she was korean,
i’m thinking.  light skinned asian.  a very attractive lady.  i
lost track of her.  i continued my food and when all the table around me
were empty, i decided it was time to go too.  so i got up, threw my trash
away, and greeted the lady at the cookie counter.  i’d like 2 cookies.
buy one more and get one free, she said.  sure why not.  the power
of marketing i said to the lady.  and still confused, i had to ask how many
cookies that would be total.  she said four, and i told her my choices.
chocolate chip and macadamia nut.  i gathered my cookies, and walked back
to the chick fil a to get a refill.  and as i walked by, i noticed the
pretty asian lady before was sitting with an even prettier asian lady.  i
couldn’t help but to stare.  i went to the store, and waited for my refill.
and looked and there was the prettier lady who must of gotten up right after i
walked by, she was waiting for something too.  and i couldn’t help but to
wonder what would have happened if she got up just as i was coming by and we
bumped into each other.  she got what she needed, never looked my way and
left.  i got what i needed, shrugged my shoulders in a sense of normalcy
and left too.  and as i exited the door, i noticed out of the corner of my
eye a lady behind me.  i passed the first door before seeing her, so on
the second door, i paused as i held it open for her.  i looked back and the
same obligatory goth chick was walking towards me.  i held the door, and
she looked at me and said in the sweetest voice thank you.  i nodded my
head smiled and continued on.  in my car, i situated my cookies to eat on
the drive home.  i looked at the movie listing i had printed out to bring
with me to see if a movie i wanted to see was playing soon.  it wasn’t.
an hour and half would be the next showing of something im interested in.
so i cruised on home.  i came home to my loving fat ass cat.  who
greeted me at the door with a meow, purr and a rub against the legs.  he’s
sleeping on the chair behind me right now.

Wednesday, November 20, 2002

devastating black hole
is headed in Earths direction.
The Pope declares
himself immortal.  Thieves try to

sell stolen goods
back to original owner.
A neato picture.

Downloading copyrighted or otherwise restricted music that you
don’t own is illegal.  I like to download music from my favorite artists
(and unknown) so i know what cd to buy that i’ll like the most songs on.
I’ve bought more cd’s this year than i have in the past 5 years i bet.  I
want to raise a question to my audience.  is downloading copyrighted porn
illegal?  Is downloading copyrighted porn immoral?  porn in itself is
immoral.  having sex outside of love is wrong.  so if i copy or
download a porn that i should have paid for, is that so wrong?

recently bought warcraft 3.  and i’m going to play it.  a lot.
it’s going to take up all my time.  and there’s not a thing you can do
about it.

Sunday, November 17, 2002 – 11:10 pm – hi.  i slept
all weekend.  now i’m like wide awake.  nothing new to say here.
sorry.  so i’ll just blab.  blab blab.  i’ve been playing final
fantasy legend on gameboy.  i’ve almost beat it.  it will be the 3rd
time i’ve beaten this game.  2wice was on the real gameboy.  years and
years ago.  now, i’m playing it on my dreamcast using an emulator.
playing these games on my big screen tv is really cool.  i dont want to
give away any secrets.  a secret isn’t a secret when you tell someone.
i have secrets.  i have things i wish were secrets.  i have secrets i
wish i didn’t have, and i have things that are secrets just for the purpose of
me saying i have a secret.  i dont trust anyone to know my secrets.
it can take me hours just to type up one paragraph here.  it’s already been
15 minutes so far this one.  i’m not inspired right now.  too many
projects loom in my mind.  i’m one to start many things, but never finish
one of them.  this web site isn’t even finished.  its been over a year
since i’ve had it.  of course, a work like this can’t ever really be
finished.  at some point, all the creative work in the world will have come
to an end.  at some point, everything that could be created will have been
created.  every song, every story, every piece of art.  what will
humans do in a few million years when the sun explodes?  the earth will be
no more.  consider that?  our children will have to have a new place
already established and thriving to continue life.  you think there will be
people who stay behind because they dont want to leave their home?  like
the freaks who dont leave home during a hurricane?  we always are searching
for radio signals from aliens to see if we can detect any.  i am a member
of the seti project.  search for extra terreristals.  i think we
should stop looking for their signals and start sending our signals on our own.
for the purpose of making contact.  as far as i know, i dont think there
are any massive attempts at such.  i just sent a picture of our last big
snow storm to a friend in the phillipines.  she’s never seen snow in real
life.  she can’t quite grasp the concept of being stuck in the house for
days and not being able to go out.  ahh well.  maybe it’ll snow soon.
i remember our last big snow happened on Thursday i think.  saturday i had
a gig.  luckily i got ahold of my step moms truck blazer thing.
luckily my dad came and plowed out my driveway.  the gig was a go and it
was actually a good turnout.  ahh well.  no plans right now for a next
gig.  i’ll let you know when.

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

are you watching
24 this season?  really exciting, really gets me going.  catch it, fox
Tuesday nights at 9:00 pm.   I received my new
Groovelily cd today.  and as i
expected, it’s awesome too.  and I was really hyped when i saw all the band
members had personally signed the cd!  very awesome too.  Now, i have
2 cd’s signed by them, the first i picked up at one of their shows a few months
ago and asked them to sign.  check them out.  They’ll be back in Cary,
NC at the Six String Cafe and Music Hall January 30, 2003.
www.sixstringcafe.com.  While
I’m plugging, the last artist i saw there was the wonderful
Allyson Light.
If you like Tori Amos, you’ll like Allyson.  Although I don’t like to
compare artists like that.  each artist is different.  Allyson has
lots of talent, awesome piano, great lyrics and melody.  be sure to see her
live.  I’m sorry to say Allyson, but I picked up Water at your show (and
got a signature, thanks 😉 ) and it doesn’t do you justice.   Allyson
will be performing at the Berkley Cafe in Raleigh December 6, 2002.  She’ll
be opening for another artist, Alex Bach.
Show starts at 9:30.    i’ll be there, maybe, i’ll try.  oh
yea, ok i just went to the web site for Alex, and yea, i’m pretty sure i’m going
now 😉  plug plug plug, I took a road trip last night all the way to Chapel
Hill just to see a movie.  But, extremely awesome movie, i’ve had to travel
to 2 theaters i’ve never even heard of before just to see this movie.  Yes,
i’ve seen it twice.  Spirited Away.
By the wonderful Hayao Miyazaki, same guy of Princess Mononoke fame, another of
my favorite movies.    Spirited Away is the number 1 grossing
movie in Japan.  Ever.  Besting Titanic, Star Wars, whatever.
Spirited Away is #1.  Here, it only plays in small unknown independent
theaters.  Despite the gracious efforts of Disney to present this movie in
the US. This really outlines the major differences between our cultures.
In a land where business men are more likely to be seen riding the subway
reading manga (think comic books) than the newspaper.  Here in America,
i’ve seen the movie twice, and each time, i was one of no more than 20 people in
the theater.   it’s not advertised.  not admitted.  deemed
unfit because it’s a cartoon.  Americans don’t appreciate art apparently.
I have more animated movies than live action in my DVD collection.  I’ve
been to anime cons (check the con reports link to view some great pics!) to
spend 3 whole days of viewing anime.  And i’m not just stuck on anime.
The Simpsons also hold a dear place in my funny bone.  As do classics from
the Bugs Bunny family.  Pink Panther, Tom and Jerry.  Mad Magazine.
I still subscribe to Wired magazine mainly for the great artwork although I
could read all the articles online for free.

Tuesday, November 5, 2002

I think this has
become a site “of interest to me at the time” what with all the cool links i’m
interested in.  dammit.  i know you come here for my opinions.
my insights.  my bullcrap.  but my problem is that i have so many.
ok, i’ll try one.  today was voting day.  I don’t vote so that i can
increase the percentage of people who don’t vote.  it’s my protest against
the politicians.  the liars, money grabbers, lobbyists.  a person said
to me today vote for this guy because he won’t raise taxes.  the american
people are always asking for more and more programs.  things.  give my
kids this at school.  we need more books.  more schools.  i want
a cheaper education.  i want my trash picked up off the side of the road.
this pothole in the street is ruining my car.  we should aid the people
whose homes were destroyed in the hurricane.  we need more cultural arts
programs.  workers need a raise.  teachers need to quit buying school
supplies out of pocket.  blah blah blah.  but people expect these
things to get done, and to continue the current programs and salaries without
raising taxes.  how exactly is that supposed to happen?  laws aren’t
passed based on the majority vote.  they are based on the vote of a bunch
of old people who sit downtown who wave their hands and who stand to clap when
one of those old people get up and makes a statement so loud they run out of
breath.  they plaster all their signs all over the place, littering.
i dont care.  is the person with the most signs supposed to win?  is
the person with the biggest sign supposed to win?  on the signs, it does
not list their positions on things.  it does not list if this is a good
person or not.  it says vote for me.  ooo well, there ya go.  ok,
i’ll vote for you.  but beside you is your competitor who says vote for
him. hmmm,,,, what to do?  i would definitely vote if i could vote online.
but, i want to see the positions of the runners.  side by side.  by a
third party.  each politician says on their ads how much the other
politicians suck.  that’s not information i can use to base a vote on.
just like a high school homecoming queen, we’re voting for what people say,
who’s popular, not based on the real issues this person is supposed to be
representing.  i have no clue what the people represent.  all i know
is what they did wrong because that’s all the ads are on tv.  i’m not going
to vote when i have to choose the lesser of two evils.  if i feel strongly
for a person who will get something done, who is not corrupt, who is a down to
earth good person, then maybe i’d vote for him.  all the politicians i’ve
ever met have been ass kissers.  and it pisses me off.  they kiss ass
all the way up to the top.  they get so high up they just sit in an office
somewhere, talking to reporters, saying yah or neigh to stupid things like to
have cream in the coffee or not.  i’ll give you some cream in your coffee.
i want to be able to say i want so and so percent of my tax dollars to go to
this program.  i want a list of every program and thing my taxes are used
for.  i want to be able to rate them from 1 to 10 on the matter of
importance it is to me.  then have my tax dollars distributed
appropriately.  the programs people dont demand, deal with it.  you
get what you get.  the people can’t complain that the government is being
unfair to programs, because the people gave them what they wanted to give them.
lobbying puts democracy out of the publics hands.  it’s who you know, and
how much you got.  that’s not the way of a just life.  hence, i dont
vote.  and yes, i’m registered.