a glimpse of a touch, a meet of an eye
this lady in waiting that I’m passing by


For the past few days, i’ve turned the site into a memorial page for my late good friend Marty Williams. In case you didnt know, marty had been battling Hodgkin’s disease for a good 6 or so years now. I received a phone call at work tuesday oct 7 at about 9:30 that i needed to come back to the hospital. So that i did, called who i could call, went to pick up my mom and scott and got to the hospital shortly thereafter. We come in and sit down in the already crowded room. and wait. and talked and said prayers and all sorts of things. and this woman who comes in, a black middle aged nurse leans over above marty and breaks out in prayer. o heavenly father we love you, o heavenly father, we love marty, o heavenly father take marty to a good place, o heavenly father we love you heavenly father, o heavenly father we pray for marty. for like 5 minutes. about everyone in the room is crying and i felt chills down my whole body during this procession. she slows down, and eventually quits, leaves the room and marty is still there hanging on. eventually, we all hold hands, about 25 of us, and we all say something to marty. i said something to the effect of There’s a lot of people in this room, and there’s a whole lot more people thats not here thats thinking of you and praying and rooting for you. me, scott, john and lisa took a lunch break together. and we had a good old time, as much as we could i guess. we came back to the room and sat there for a while. it was getting late, and we decided to leave the room save for a few people at a time. so that we did, i went downstairs with a bunch of people, and we sit there for a few minutes. Then Chasity comes running out the door, almost falling over and she tells us Marty has passed on. Official time was 7:55 pm. so we all go back into the room and see marty there, motionless. and we have a seat. and we sit there and talk for like 30 minutes. and it was almost comforting. even though we’re 3 feet from a dead person, he’s not suffering anymore and thats comforting to know. we gather up his things in the room and sneak them out to the car. i can officially say i’ve kissed a dead person now. i hope it doenst go much farther than that. Thanks for all the people who’ve stuck around marty, and thanks to all the friends i already had and have gained from this experience.

not quite yet

at 26 years old, i shouldn’t have to call up my friend and say it’s time to go. be ready in 5 minutes cuz we got to be in the hospital as soon as possible. and he gets ready without question. at 26 years old, my friend shouldn’t have to have surgery to put a feed tube directly in his stomach. he should be conscious, able to move his fingers. able to look at me and say he’ll be alright and tell me about the nurse he cares so much for. at 22 years old, she shouldn’t get a lesson in what it’s like for someone our age to lie on their death bed. i shouldn’t have to go thursday night after his most recent surgery and wait around till 11:00 pm to see him and he still hasn’t recovered yet so we never get to say hi. Go back friday and stay till 12:30 am with Scott and see Marty getting better and horsing around in the best way he can which includes a raised eyebrow and the occasional smile. and sunday to be awoken by his mom crying and saying if i have any last words to say to Marty, i need to go now. So i call scott and say its time to go and we go immediately. arrive at about 1:00 pm and enter the room of about 15 people gathered around him already in prayer. all these people i dont know, all these people marty doesn’t even know. pastors and deacons and aunts and great nephews and what not. and people saying aloud it’s time for god to take you, you’re going on a better place. we will all meet you again there. and watching his whole body raise as he takes a very short breath in and immediately lets it out. then lie still for a few seconds. then another quick breath in and out and laying still. through time, the whole process repeats, only each time a little bit slower. people come and people go. hold his hand because they are afraid to hug him and mess up his tubes. because his arms are just laying on the bed motionless, hands and fingers extended. and to see Chasity, the nurse that marty cares so much for by his side as well. he smiles at her voice and when she leans in to speak with him he raises his arms to hold her hand which she quickly accepts. for everyone to leave the room and leave scott, chasity and myself in there alone with him and without the grownups there, we tell all sorts of secrets and jokes and things and i think we eventually got another smile or two out of him before it was all done. I shouldn’t of had to leave that night, expecting to receive a phone call in the morning that he had moved on. instead i received a phone call that he’s in a coma. and it wouldn’t be until lunch time when he would awaken. Still, when we went to see him tonight, his progress had not improved, yet it had not worsen. i’m not sure if he made any smiles and remarks to me tonight. he slept mostly. i shouldn’t have to beg a certain someone special to visit him with me so they can meet before it’s all over. and i shouldn’t have to be here at 1:00 am writing about one of my best friends.