it absolutely is priceless
stringing him along
thoughts of love
and hopes of more
promises of everything
only to be drawn away
right at the end
promises given
were misdirected
only to be sucked away
for another
priceless, he thought
those promises were his




today i went shopping and bought a bunch of stuff to replace the things i had to remove from my house.  There’s a big pile of junk in the den now of stuff i dont want, that’s not mine.  It would be even bigger if i hadn’t of got tired, and am basically running out of space. hopefully it will magically disappear soon.  I wanted to set a fire in my fireplace for christmas but now i cant get to it.  i haven’t been allotted my christmas decorations so i don’t have anything but christmas gifts waiting to be wrapped for christmas scenery.  I already sold the digital camera i had bought for a present.  it was a nice fuji a500 or something.  i would of kept it, but i’ve got my eye on a fuji f30.  I hate the feeling of losing someone, but i also hate just as much the process of someone new.  don’t get me wrong, it’s exciting and fun, but i have the hardest time finding someone i like, thats single, and i think would actually be interested.  i also hate asking for a date even if i do see someone.  i hardly ever do it.  i bet i could sit here and think of all the times i’ve actually asked someone for a date. 

hmm, there was that girl in the mall that gave out the sweet potatoe sticks, oh wait i never asked her out, i only asked her for her number.  then i never called.  i’m sorry. 

then there was one of my now ex’s.  it was all part of an elaborate plan where i had wrote a letter to my friend and let her read it.  in the letter i wrote about me finding someone i liked, but never mentioned the name.  then, one day i told her that person in the letter she read was her. 

hmmm lets see there was the one girl that just didn’t see me as a religious enough to date.  although for that one i did a pretty stupid thing that turned out all wrong, but it was a really good plan in my head, and she admitted it was very sweet.  i went to the store, bought a tub of ice cream, bowls, spoons, and drove to her work.  waited for her to get off work then i’d catch her outside and we’d have ice cream in the car.  problem was she got off work early, and had already left.  unbeknownst to me, i was still waiting outside in the parking lot until like 30 minutes after close.  i called her to see when she’d be leaving, and she was already home.  but she humored me and came to meet me there, but then she decided she wasnt hungry.

hm ok maybe i can’t think of every single time.  i’m not including ones where someone else hooked us up on a date, or where she initated it.  well, ya i probabally can think of every single time actually, but most of them don’t have elaborate stories to tell about.  or i dont want to emberass anyone, or myself.  ok i’m just blabbering.  nothing gets me in the mood more to write than the mood i’m in now.  which is alone.

anyway i guess my point to all this is that i actually had the nerve to ask a lady for lunch yesterday.  i just felt comfortable enough to do so.  she declined, but only declined for that day and said we could another day.  i’m acceptable with that.  will let you know how it goes as i’m definately interested in her.

if you havent been following my flickr stream, i’ve got a new cell phone with a camera.  and although the idea seemed really great, the more pictures i take the less i like it.  the quality just isn’t there like my real camera.  but i guess that’s not the point, the point is to have some sort of set of interesting pictures from impromptu moments wherever i am.  when you see one of these pictures on my flickr, i probabally just took and uploaded it the date and time it says, so if you see a new one pop up that’s more than likely where i am right then, or had just been.  i’m tagging them with cameraphone so you can search my stream for cameraphone to see them.  anyway, here’s a few:

pic121606_1.jpg pic121406_1.jpg pic121006_2.jpg 

well i’m off to bed.  need to check to see if my new bedsheets are dry so i can make the bed. 

point of no return

there’s this area of time where there’s 2 possible dimensions.  a time before and a time after.  and at some point there is a distinction between the two.  a distinction so great that the two times would not be possible to reunite.  the space shuttle on an outward journey, and it’s out of fuel.  a half bloomed rose just before the frost.  an expensive non refillable ink pen that’s starting to fade.  where you just paid $30,000 for a new car, and then drive it off the lot.  Something happens that tips the scales where either what’s coming ahead is far greater, where you can’t go back, or maybe you dont want to go back because it’s that bad.  when you’ve realized it wouldn’t be possible to still have feelings for someone after knowing what’s going on.  well i guess there’s another one for me.