Saturday, November 10, 2001

Morning! 😉  I finally got my pictures back from our con trip!!! Yea!! I
have hence begun work on my very own con report for NekoCon 2001!!!  Check
it out.  umm i guess i will put it under the Articles section.
How’s that?  Theres only one thing there now anyway, it needs
company.  eheh  Please look at it, i spent a good deal amount of time
and energy in getting these pictures and providing this info to you.  Read
it, look at the nice pics.  Click on my banner ads! Better yet, buy one
of these crazy t-shirts from tshirthell.  BTW, today, i just received
word on a new shirt in stock!!  Here’s a quote:  Just a quick e-mail
to let everyone know that we have put a few new shirts up including one for all
you UNIX people out there (rm -rf /bin/laden).

Thursday, November 8, 2001

So, i saw this ad
on another site somewhere or another, and thought it was too funny to pass
up.  tshirthell has some funny shirts that i know some of you may be
interested in.  so check them out and get one, most are only $16
bucks.  and don’t worry, they got some raunchy ones too!  i’m feeling
a lot better, although i just haven’t been getting enough sleep recently.
but that’s what the weekend is for, right?  no plans yet for weekend, i
suppose me and pretzel boy will collaborate  some.  friday night, me
and friends are going to play some ut.  i will undoubtly kick booty as
always.  check out our web page for our ut server at ut.vance.net.
my custom maps are on there, and so are viper’s.  we make maps for the game
and put them on our server for all to enjoy.  we’ve got our own little fan
base going.  our server is frequently busy with players, it’s great to have
other’s enjoy one of your own creations like this.  i just haven’t been
doing a lot of mapping lately.  been interested in my other projects,
mostly music.  i need some new guitar strings for my acoustic alvarez.
its starting to sound dull.  in a quest to keep you coming here, i really
am going to try to write more often.  that’s what this is before, as i said
earlier.  my expressions of ideas and ideals.  i need cash. there’s
things i want to buy.  i need some music equipment for when i start dj’ing.
i need a new computer.  i need to take my animals to the vet.  one
thing i dont sacrifice on is food.  i’m not going to suffer through not
eating.  that’s not the american way.  there was some show on pbs the
other night on things called colonials.  or something like that. places in
southern texas and scattered around other parts of the country where these
people, mostly of mexican decent, were lured to these places to build their
homes because farmers were selling land cheap.  what these buyers didnt
know is that this was being done under the table, and not reported to the local
officials.  therefore, no sewer, or water was ever run to these
developments.  been that way for almost 40 years.  these places are
out in the desert sometimes.  one is in the middle of a dried up
lake.  when it rains, the ground instantly fills with water.  they
have no real roads there, so the people sometimes can not get out to work, or
can’t get back home.  finally a bunch of them got together and went before
their county officials and demanded some money for things like roads and sewer
and water and they are starting to get them.  some of the officials were
like well lets just deport them, but they can’t because these aren’t illegal
immigrants.  these are American citizens.  they can’t get out because
they make little money at the jobs they have, they have to pay so much money to
keep up their old houses like this one guy actually saved up enough money to
build a really nice house and his own water well cuz he couldn’t get
water.  turned out it was very hard water, and every 2 years he has to
replace all his fixtures in the house.  he can’t do much with the water but
water the grass.  anyway…

i wanted to see the
american race
the other night but the stupid country music awards were
on.  the only reason i watch that show is cuz that girl emily on there is
so cute. and she actually has a personality.  i was pretty upset last
episode when her and her mom came in last place.  then the guys said that
that wasn’t a critical point and they would not be kicked off the game.  so
she’s on for one more show.  the other day i went grocery shopping.  i
spent too much money on food that day, but i got a lot of stuff i wanted.
and a new addition to the loneliness page is when you walk by a aisle of
greeting cards and your first thought is to buy one for the sole purpose of
sending it to your self.

Tuesday, November 6, 2001

New web cam
software, seeing as how Logitech seemed to take out all custom functions in
their new version of the quick cam software.  So i’m trying out some new
stuff.  While i was here, i cleaned up the pages a bit.  Yea, i know,
a lot of the old banners aren’t here anymore.  no one clicked on them
anyway, the accounts had already been turned off for inactivity.  thanks
for your support.  yea, i know, i removed a lot of the old news from the
main page. no one read it anyway.  thanks for your support.  i’m
leaving up the paypal logo and the top banner ads.  no one clicks on them
anyway, but if you did click on something those are the two best things to click
on.  thanks for your support.  page hits are down, and this site was
never about hits, or making money.  it was about me sharing my ideas with
you.  it’s about my poetry, stories, music, and my odd news
commentary.  just me being me.  i even share
pics
of myself sometimes.  however, since October 12, there have only been 8
different visitors to this site.  That number may actually be higher, i’m
not counting IP addresses that are showing up in the logs, only IP’s that have a
reverse dns entry, for instance i can tell that someone from aol
came here, or mindspring, or the
like.  some don’t’ have a name though.  so what’s the deal.  what
more do you want?  free porn is always a good thing to attract people, but
i’ve had people i care for tell me they wouldn’t link to my page if i had porn
(although its a moot point since she’s never linked to me anyway ahem.. 😉 , so
i’m not going to go that route.  give away free things?  ha!  if
i actually made a penny from this site, i’d be ecstatic, and free things have to
be paid for by someone.  to be honest, as of this very second, i have made approximately
$2.50 from this site since i launched it in june of 2001.  so what else
could i offer?  i could write about my pathetic life more.  i have
tried to keep my personal life out of the site.  when i feel down and i
think it can’t be worse, i read something
awful
, or stileproject.
a day in the life of stile
just sucks so bad, it will make anyone’s life seem like a walk in the clouds.
do you know what all these little words with underlines are for?  that
means you can click on them.  it means it will take you somewhere else so
you can waste more time.  examine some of the links i post, they are there
for a reason.  and like the last 2 links, they don’t always take you to the
same place just because i’m talking about the same thing.  the links i
choose to include here compliment what i am writing.  use them.

fine,
you want pathetic life.  no problem.  although now i’m not in the mood
to write about my pathetic life, i’d rather write about my pathetic web
page.  i’d rather ramble about nothingness because that’s what blog‘s
are for.  i just added a new thingy to here, please rate my page using the
link on the right hand side there.  be honest, i dont’ care.  i just
want you to click on it.  you dont’ have to fill out anything, just click
on good or bad.  how hard is that?  yea, i removed all the real old
news.  dont worry, i still have it archived, just no way to get to it yet.
i’m a pack rat, i keep stuff forever.  i have all the news I’ve ever posted
to here, even my very first message.  organized by the month it was posted.
one day i’ll put that stuff up so you can get to it.  ramble ramble ramble
i keep old stuff.  i have a darth vader bank that was sold when the
original star wars came out, like in 1977.  i bet it’s worth something
now.  but i wouldn’t sell it.  it’s shaped like darth’s head.
made out of ceramic or something.  of course, there’s no money in it.
just like there’s no money in my checking account.  but i keep getting
these things from a credit card place that says  $4,200 on it, so that must
be where my money is. hmmm  ramble ramble

spam is
just terrible.  i mean email spam.  but as much as i hate it i would
like a targeted email system if i had to choose anything.  i don’t need to
loose 30 pounds in a week. i dont need a bigger penis, i dont’ need to increase
my breast size.  i don’t want a free camera, i dont need to investigate
someone, i dont need a divorce lawyer, i don’t want to reduce my long distance
costs, and i sure as hell don’t want fresh vegetables to use as sexual
toys.  ramble………………….

the anime convention
was most excellent.  i was waiting to post my report on it till i got my pictures
back, but they haven’t arrived yet.  8 rolls of film!!  we had a load
of fun though.  bush gardens was waaayyy too crowded.  we had to wait
in line just to cross over some of the big bridges there to get around the
park.  we waited 2 hours to ride alpengheist.  we didn’t even get to
ride one of the coasters there.  but i had to partake in our annual trip,
so i have not broken tradition.  ramble

music is music to
my ears.  i’ve been working on more dance techno style things.  i do
have some guitar songs done, but i haven’t recorded them good yet.  i’m
going to collaborate with pretzelboy  on making some pop dance style
stuff.  information society, hooverphonic, kind of stuff.  i’m going
to start dj’ing for my other friend who is getting some singing gigs. i have a
good feeling about that in several ways.  i need some equipment though, if
you have any PA eq to sell, let me know.  school sucks.  that’s all it
deserves now.  dance dance revolution is a great game.  they had a
tourney at the con.  i purchased the 5th mix soundtrack, and i love
it.  lots of good songs on there, introduced me to lots of good artists,
smile.dk, bambee, atomic kitten, e-rotic, aromabar, and even mike oldfield.
listening to aromabar -winter pagent now.  what part did i play??
good slow trance style.  purchased the full version of fruityloops this
week. i love it.  piano roll is very handy.  you can do amazing things
with this software.  contemplating purchasing Vegas audio/video for
multitrack editing.  there’s so many red squiggly lines on this page its
unreal. ohhh look theres one now, and another, and heres one too.  got new
eric clapton cd.  its ok.  still like unplugged better.  ramble
ramble……

i’m going to make a page with just ads
for dating services.  they will  help us losers out who are single and
hopeless, not to mention give me a small kickback.  they do work, its not
the services fault you are ugly and stupid and dont know anything.  but you
never know.  i want to change the way i display poetry here.  i want
to put each poem in its own file and have it randomly select a few to print when
you go to poetry.  i want to create a way i can add a poem from anywhere,
and news too.  all things i envisioned being able to do when i started
this.  just haven’t done it.  web page work has died down because i’ve
lost interest.  not this site, but my other commercial sites.  plus
lack of money hurts too :(.  but i do have ventures lets just leave it at
that.  i dont know where i will be long term.  not computers.
computers is a job.  it pays bills.  i do enjoy it, and am competent
at the things i do.  i could do more.  but it’s not my thing.
i’m creative.  i want to create things.  that’s the only reason i
really wanted to do web pages because i would be creating something.  but
that’s not artistic.  i want to be a famous poet.  i want to be known
in the underground circuits as a great song writer.  long term goals
here.  work gets in the way of my ambitions.  i need to learn and
practice.  im tired of this A+ certification class i’m taking.  as
soon as it’s over, i’m finding a guitar or some kind of music class.  i’ve
never taken any music lessons in my life.  all i know i have taught
myself.  i could do more.  i know no music theory cept if it sounds
good go with it.  sometimes that’s all you  need though.

i’m
sick.  it hurts to breathe, it hurts to drink a glass of milk.  i love
milk.  i didn’t want to eat tonight, but i knew i had to.  i feel like
i can’t stay out of work.  i have 3 places to be already scheduled for the
morning.  maybe i’ll do those and go home.  i dont take vacation at
work because i’m afraid something will happen and no one will know what to
do.  besides, i dont’ have anyone to take vacation with anyway so it doesn’t
matter.  i was supposed to have taken a big trip to disney world September
for a whole week, but that got abruptly cancelled without my
participation.  i want to create a pathetic loneliness page that lists ways
to describe loneliness.  maybe a song, or poem.  but today’s addition
to the list is staying home sick and knowing there’s no one there to take care
of you.  i’m done.