Monday, October 28, 2002

by | Oct 28, 2002 | General

i’m just a small
part of your plan, i can see it.   I believe in contradictions.
the notes sing such melodies, only no one’s here to harmonize.  i’ve
redecorated my room to create a one second delay reverb so i can now truly talk
to myself.  i call my cat more ‘pet’ names than my last girlfriend.
maybe i’m looking at life in the wrong way. maybe i’m making it more complicated
than it is.  i mean, if a bunch of sims
can get together in the game of life and have a good job, create relationships
and the like by the direction of a few keystrokes, why isn’t life really that
simple?  can you really calculate and compute an algorithm for your life?
is it all a matter of time management?  invite a friend over every few
days.  entertain them.  get a tv and a big couch so you can all sit
and watch and talk.  be sure to eat in the morn and at night, be sure you
use the potty before your friends show up and you go all over the floor.
be sure you have enough energy to last you throughout the day, or you’ll fall
over from exhaustion.  pay your bills or you’ll be booted out.
but isn’t that all there really is to it?  who said it had to be so
complicated?  i now analyze in real life if it’s more time efficient for me
to go to the bathroom or to sleep now and go in the morning.    I
wonder if it’s more time efficient to wash my hands and to go have a quick
breakfast as opposed to not washing hands and having a big breakfast.  When
i’m with friends, i constantly search for a method to increase our fun meter.
i rearranged one of the first sentences i wrote above to apply more thought to
another.  i’m listening to yokko kanno.  i dont know if i spelled that
correctly.  i have to get up in about 7.5 hours.  i think i’ll take
some drugs (nyquil) tonight to help me sleep.  i usually only take drugs on
the night of a big trip, so i’ll be rested.  or when i’m just not sleeping
good recently for some reason.  maybe it’s stress.  i feared for my
life in my dream last night.  i hid around he other side of a car while i
lured the machine to the one parked next to it under water.  it got stuck,
assumed it was on me and exploded it’s thousands of pins and needles everywhere.
luckily, i swam away.  thanks to the man who yielded to me today.  it
was not necessary.  i felt bad afterwards.  i just noticed on #14
about about 2:30 or so, the release on the piano is cut short, you don’t hear
the full natural decay. being a little involved in music really forces changes
onto how you listen to music.  i notice the smallest thing.  but
everyone says i’m picky about everything anyway.  which i’ll agree to.
i didn’t go to the state fair this year.  i didn’t go last year.  i
have no ambition to go, too many people.  i can stand in my closet and let
everything topple down on top of me and be more comfortable than if i was in the
middle of that fair.  the rides scare me.  that is, the safety of the
rides scare me.  ahh well, enough randomness tonight.  my arm hurts.
it’s your fault.  night

Wednesday, October 23, 2002

by | Oct 23, 2002 | General

Back in
August of this year, i wrote about a
operation by the FBI called Operation Candyman.  It was to catch and
prosecute child porn collectors, distributors, and contributors.  you may
view what

i wrote here.  courtesy of google
of course.  Today, I received a greatly appreciated e-mail from
Wired contributing editor
Steve Silberman regarding that
entry i made.  Steve informed me of an
excellent
article he has written for Wired following the catching, investigation and
prosecuting in this operation, especially against a particular individual by the
name of

Adam Vaughn.  If someone came up to me and asked if i had signed up for
a particular web site, i would have to say i have no idea.  every site i go
to (at least that interests me) i sign up for.  just so i can be sure i get
my preferred username before someone else does 😉  of course, that would be
radial or radialmonster.  so if you see a radial or radialmonster on a site
you’re visiting, say hi, its probably me.  But what is really scary about
the comments in the article is how they can prosecute you for what’s in your
browser cache, and even for things you’ve deleted!  do YOU know what’s in
your browser cache?  i can do a simple image search on google and get
things i’d rather not see, and since visiting
stileproject.com i’m pretty much
desensitized now to about everything.  i manage the spam at my work place,
i at least skim through about 5000 messages a day.  and you would be amazed
at the nastiness of some of the emails i’ve seen.  but to me now, it’s just
another email. just another junk mail.  i dont get offended one bit.
i laugh. but, if a spammer sends you an email and it is only an inline gif ( i
want you to know i typed fig 3 times before i ever got gif out) that
automagically pops up, you’re liable to end up 5 years in a federal prison.
i think i’d opt for the psych ward though if they’d let me.  but honestly,
if this guy was pulling up images, saving them to his hard drive, he had an
interest.  you can’t accidentally right click an image, choose save target
as and create a directory for them.  why would you even bother creating a
directory called too young if you know you shouldn’t be looking at them?
come on, that’s like someone getting accidentally run over by a train.  you
dont accidentally end up in front of a few thousand tons of metal lunging
towards you what with the roaring metal sounds and the for sure honking of the
horn.  i will be the first to admit i have some naked ladies on my
computer.  i’ve replied to those spams that say “is there pornography on
your computer?  run this program to find out and eradicate porn!”  i
replied to them and said there better be some porn on my computer, if there’s
not someone’s deleted it!!  they never responded.  but , i have never
done a background check on each picture i have to be sure it’s not someone under
18.  i go by what i’m told.  come on, i cant even watch a baby diaper
commercial on tv without getting disgusted, why would i want to get off on it?
and get real, i know of NO guy who doesn’t look at naked ladies.

tonight i walked up to a stranger and told her i liked her song.  i went to
Mars tonight for the open mic night for
songwriters.  if i knew it was songwriters, i might have seriously entered.
it wasn’t for if you could play good, it was for the song itself.  anyway,
this great young lady got up and sang and played guitar and her song was just
great.  i told her i liked it, she smiled shyfully, giggled and said “thank
you”.  she now has a fan. maybe i’m #1.  i then went to chik-fil-a and
got supper.  i said to a complete stranger in the bathroom ‘good luck’ as
he read a love letter.  he said ‘oh, this is just petty stuff’ and laughed.
i then dropped a dime while paying.  i said to the complete stranger next
to me, is it bad luck to pick up the dime on tails if it’s my dime?  then i
left him with a nice contemplating thought, and is a black cat bad luck if it’s
yours?  he just looked at me and said i dunno, and i laughed and walked
away.

I’m very curious as to where some of my visitors come from.
and for the life of me, i have NO IDEA how my site got listed here:

http://www.cachebeauty.com/link_directory/wrinkle_in_time_movie.html

Tuesday, October 15, 2002

by | Oct 15, 2002 | General

I know you’ve
done this to me.  I know you have given me carpel tunnel syndrome in an
attempt to silence me here.  but as you can see it’s not working.  I
don’t care that you take my cat and replace him, i don’t care that you send
ghosts to write messages to me in my counter tops.  I don’t care that you
took my alien baby from me years ago after turning me into an alien woman and
having your way with me.  but, it hurts to write about my complaints.
Maybe if you get me to write enough, i wont be able to write anymore.
luckily, i can still whack it.  and you should join the cause too.
www.masturbateforpeace.com.
if not that, i could go to McDonalds and look up some
porn on their
computers.  Talk about a new meaning for happy meals.  Such a
simple solution for a complex problem.  If this is true, and come on, it’s
on

CNN so it has to be, why hasn’t everyone heard of this?

Wednesday, October 9, 2002

by | Oct 9, 2002 | General

I know some of
the readers here are Escher
fans.  Maybe you’ll find this guy interesting, he built ‘sculptures’ of
some of Escher’s works, and took pictures of them on his site.  Normal,
however these are made of Lego’s!
check it out.
He has some other interesting pieces he’s built too.  speaking of Lego’s,
some guy has some nifty
things he’s made too.

I have ghosts in my house.  I have proof now.  I come
home tonight and see my usual

kitchen mess.  Upon closer inspection, I see my
name written
on the
counter top! If you cant tell, it’s my name like backwards or something.
I have absolutely no clue how it got there.  I have found things fallen off
shelves before.  Not so unusual. But, I have a

Rinoa Heartily figure on my shelf above the computer.  The figure is
supported pretty securely by a plastic base that her feet clip into.  Well,
I’ve come home twice to find the figure on the floor, yet the base is still on
the shelf.  I’ve come home, and found a small chicken plush toy that was on
my top bookcase shelf on the floor.  Nothing else fell off the shelf.
I put it back on the shelf, and the next night, it was on the floor again!
psycho.

speaking of psycho, my friends tell me i need to see a shrink.
i mean, not just general acquaintances, but my close friends.  Now, i try
to be odd in general.  I like to make people think about things they
wouldn’t normally think of.  But does that mean i need to be examined?
The most psychotic thing that I’ve done recently happened just a few weeks ago.
I came home, and as always my fat cat came up to me and rubbed against me.
I picked him up, looked him in the eye and said to myself this isn’t my cat.
I looked at him pretty hard, and i came to the real conclusion the feline i held
in my hands was not my cat.  He had been replaced.  This cat LOOKED
like my cat, but it wasn’t him.  I put him down and he continued to rub
against me and walk around in circles and meow, and i couldn’t help to wonder
how this cat got here.  Time passed (it took several days) and i have since
gotten over it.  i think. but i still look at him cautiously.  reminds
me of a show i saw on PBS where this guy had some sort of problem in his brain.
The things he saw were not relating to his emotional side of his brain.
For instance, he would visit his mother, and swear it wasn’t his mother.
She’s a fake.  He would hear her on the phone however, and know it was her.
Because he wasn’t seeing her.  just hearing.  maybe that’s me.  I
mean, i know my mom.  I sometimes know my cat.  But, maybe it’s just
me, but i seem to lack emotion sometimes.  to put it another way, i let
things go in one ear and out the other.  in one eye and out the back of the
head.  I’m very forgetful.  don’t take things seriously.  is that
psycho?